Post by redsycorax on May 28, 2021 3:04:26 GMT
"Criminals are a cowardly superstitious lot, so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must be a terrible creature, a...a..." Bruce Wayne mused to himself as he...
...passed the marine habitat at Gotham Zoo and his attention was suddenly drawn to a loud, honking Walrus: "A...Walrus! That's it! I shall become Walrus Man!" And thus was born that predatory pulchritudinous creature of the night...
...gazed deeply into his boyhood microscope and saw a paramecium under high magnification: "A...paramecium! That's it! I shall become Paramecium Man!" And thus was born that menacing micro-organism of the midnight hours...
...bent down to pat a cute little kitten with a red bow tie: "A...cute kitten! That's it! I shall become Cute Kitten Man!" And thus was born that itsy bitsy cute, large eyed nemesis of evildoers everywhere...
....slipped on an unripe, green banana peel. Picking himself up, he exclaimed: "A...green banana! That's it! I shall become Green Banana Man!" And thus was born that verdant, elongated fruit-themed threat to crime and larceny...
...picked a pebble out of his shoe and suddenly realised: "A...foot! That's it! I shall become Foot Man!" And thus was born that sole-shaped saviour of the good and virtuous...
...was distracted by a voluble, gobbling turkey: "A...Thanksgiving turkey! That's it! I shall become Thanksgiving Turkey Man!" And thus was born that rotund, wattle-throated warrior against wantonness...
...spotted a unicycling nun on the opposite street: "A...unicycling nun! That's it! I shall become Unicycling Nun Man!" And thus was born that Coiffed Crusader, that Dark-Habited Dynamo....
...noticed a cupcake in a bakery shop: "A...pink cupcake! That's it! I shall become Pink Cupcake Man!" And thus was born the Cake Crusader, crushing criminals with his crust and determination!
...squashed a snail beneath his shoe: "A...squashed snail! That's it! I shall become Squashed Snail Man!" And thus was born the Shattered Shell Sin Punisher!
...was hit by an airborne haddock: "An...airborne fish slap! That's it! I shall become Airborne Fish Slap Man!" And thus was born that Fishy Fighter of Felony...
...was sideswiped by a falling piano: "A...falling piano! That's it! I shall become Falling Piano Man!" And thus was born the Ebony and Ivory Keyed Fragmented Fighter of Felony!
...encountered a dilapidated sofa in the middle of the street: "A...derelict piece of upholstery! That's it! I shall become Damaged Sofa Man!" And thus was born that Fearless Furniture Frustrater of Felony!
...spotted an anthropomorphic yellow duck with red hair and glasses, who shook his head: "No way, buster. I'm the only Duckman and you won't get away with infringing my intellectual property. Try some other waterfowl."
... staggered out of a bar several hours later, he hallucinated a conga dancing row of purple hippopotami in tutus: "Several... purple hippopotami in tutus! That's it! I shall become Purple Hippopotamus in a Tutu Man!" And thus was born that Mauve Menace of Murderers and Maledictors everywhere!!!
...passed a three legged dog with an amputated leg: "A...three legged dog with an amputated leg! That's it! I shall become Three Legged Dog With An Amputated Leg Man!" And thus was born the Tripedal Terror of Tyrants and Traducers everywhere!
...encountered a figure with an eyepatch, pencil moustache and Haha catchphrase and ran the other way fast because he didn't want to be assimilated by that particular meme...
"Hmmmph!" Supermen thought, flying past the several suddenly inspired Bruce Waynes high above: "That guy should become a real superhero, like my idol, Bicycle Repair Man!"
(Yes, it was on those Earths...): www.dailymotion.com/video/x2howud
...passed the marine habitat at Gotham Zoo and his attention was suddenly drawn to a loud, honking Walrus: "A...Walrus! That's it! I shall become Walrus Man!" And thus was born that predatory pulchritudinous creature of the night...
...gazed deeply into his boyhood microscope and saw a paramecium under high magnification: "A...paramecium! That's it! I shall become Paramecium Man!" And thus was born that menacing micro-organism of the midnight hours...
...bent down to pat a cute little kitten with a red bow tie: "A...cute kitten! That's it! I shall become Cute Kitten Man!" And thus was born that itsy bitsy cute, large eyed nemesis of evildoers everywhere...
....slipped on an unripe, green banana peel. Picking himself up, he exclaimed: "A...green banana! That's it! I shall become Green Banana Man!" And thus was born that verdant, elongated fruit-themed threat to crime and larceny...
...picked a pebble out of his shoe and suddenly realised: "A...foot! That's it! I shall become Foot Man!" And thus was born that sole-shaped saviour of the good and virtuous...
...was distracted by a voluble, gobbling turkey: "A...Thanksgiving turkey! That's it! I shall become Thanksgiving Turkey Man!" And thus was born that rotund, wattle-throated warrior against wantonness...
...spotted a unicycling nun on the opposite street: "A...unicycling nun! That's it! I shall become Unicycling Nun Man!" And thus was born that Coiffed Crusader, that Dark-Habited Dynamo....
...noticed a cupcake in a bakery shop: "A...pink cupcake! That's it! I shall become Pink Cupcake Man!" And thus was born the Cake Crusader, crushing criminals with his crust and determination!
...squashed a snail beneath his shoe: "A...squashed snail! That's it! I shall become Squashed Snail Man!" And thus was born the Shattered Shell Sin Punisher!
...was hit by an airborne haddock: "An...airborne fish slap! That's it! I shall become Airborne Fish Slap Man!" And thus was born that Fishy Fighter of Felony...
...was sideswiped by a falling piano: "A...falling piano! That's it! I shall become Falling Piano Man!" And thus was born the Ebony and Ivory Keyed Fragmented Fighter of Felony!
...encountered a dilapidated sofa in the middle of the street: "A...derelict piece of upholstery! That's it! I shall become Damaged Sofa Man!" And thus was born that Fearless Furniture Frustrater of Felony!
...spotted an anthropomorphic yellow duck with red hair and glasses, who shook his head: "No way, buster. I'm the only Duckman and you won't get away with infringing my intellectual property. Try some other waterfowl."
... staggered out of a bar several hours later, he hallucinated a conga dancing row of purple hippopotami in tutus: "Several... purple hippopotami in tutus! That's it! I shall become Purple Hippopotamus in a Tutu Man!" And thus was born that Mauve Menace of Murderers and Maledictors everywhere!!!
...passed a three legged dog with an amputated leg: "A...three legged dog with an amputated leg! That's it! I shall become Three Legged Dog With An Amputated Leg Man!" And thus was born the Tripedal Terror of Tyrants and Traducers everywhere!
...encountered a figure with an eyepatch, pencil moustache and Haha catchphrase and ran the other way fast because he didn't want to be assimilated by that particular meme...
"Hmmmph!" Supermen thought, flying past the several suddenly inspired Bruce Waynes high above: "That guy should become a real superhero, like my idol, Bicycle Repair Man!"
(Yes, it was on those Earths...): www.dailymotion.com/video/x2howud