Post by redsycorax on Dec 13, 2019 1:07:42 GMT
Earth-Beluga Bottom:
A rectangular yellow sponge walked toward his workplace, to deliver fast seafood to the submarine town's patronage:
"Oh... who lives in a lobster cage under the sea?
Spongejim Saggytrousers!
What are those red skies and antimatter storms doing above me?...
Red skies and antimatter storms?!"
The jocular sponge had no time to ponder the presence or meaning of the phenomena above him, as the antimatter storms raced across the seabed and obliterated him from existence midsong. Seconds later, assorted crabs, whales, squids and starfish joined him in oblivion and extinction. Especially that impossible female whale spawned from the union of a crab and who knows what sort of creature or genetic experiment...
WHAMPF! went the antimatter storm sound effect as it consumed one more alternate Earth.
Earth Crapmonks:
And next, an Earth that was dominated by three annoying high-pitched musical rodents named Simeon, Elvis and Theodolite was vaporised before the horrible little creatures had a chance to open their mouths...
WHAMPF!
Earth- Annoying Small Black Chick:
"Mumma mumma where are you?...wait a minute, since when were red skies and faster than light antimatter storms part of this world?"
"I don't know Quasimodo. We're just terribly dubbed characters who interact with you and get paid far too little." said a buxom chicken, seemingly Quasimodo's mother.
"Our imminent obliteration by oncoming red skies of destruction is an injustice, it is..." But no sooner had the incredibly annoying small black egg-helmeted chick complained about the impending events than there was an almighty
WHAMPF!!
Earth-Caillou:
"CaillAAAARGHHH!!!!"
"It's not fair!!! Why does my world have to be gratuitously obliterated from existence by red skies and roiling anti AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
WHAMPF
Earth- Annoying Purple Dinosaur:
"Barney is a dinosaur
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!!
Earth- Insufferable Red Furry Juvenile Muppet:
"La la la la la la, Elmo ...is about to be wiped from existence by crimson skies and antimatter storms?!"
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!! WHAMPF!!!
Earth-Crappy Doo:
"Tra la la la...Puppy..." At which point, Crappy Doo was struck by a transcendental anti-energy bolt in Miami, leading to the death of the extremely annoying diminutive and totally useless Great Dane puppy. Microseconds later, so was his entire Earth and universe of origin and was indeed immolated and obliterated several times over, just to make sure.
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!! WHAMPF!!!!
Earth- Reprehensible Citrus:
"No! No! Not the Giant Antimatter Juicer-!!!" SQUELCH
WHAMPF
Earth-Pork:
"La la la la la, la la la la la! Peppered Pork-EEEEEEKKK!!! What is that, Paternal Pork?"
WHAMPF
Earth- Ghastly Small Blue Creatures Who Live in A Toadstool Village And Use S Words Monotonously:
"Oh Pop A Snurve!!! Why are those red skies and antimatter clouds roiling above us?"
"I suspect it's a plot of Garglemurl and his evil cat Disrael- no hang on, they just teleported out of here to a more convivial alternate Earth. Uh, Snurvetta?"
"Yes, Pop A Snurve?"
"RUN!!!" But it was far, far too late for all the Snurves and their toadstool village, which were agonisingly and painfully obliterated from existence by the by-now familiar red skies and copious thundering antimatter storms.
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!! WHAMPF!!!!
Earth-Pokemoan:
"Pikanose! I choose YOU!" screeched Aitch Ketchup in an irritating high-pitched call.
"Pika pika oh SH-"
"Making absurd cliches with no hesitation!'
"About to face total and meaningless obliteration! Wait, what?"
"Jasper!"
"Joan!"
"We are Team Crock o' Sh.... EYYYAAAHHHH!!!" And that gets rid of those badly dubbed annoying Japanese import characters!
WHAMPF WHAMPF WHAMPF
Earth C&C:
"MOO! Even with all of my superpowers and annoying high-pitched screechy voice, I can't save them all!!! MOO!" Supermoo pined, as her older 'brother' Chickadee (it's a long story involving experimental zoopregnancy grappled to the death with the devilish Mr Heindquarters, their nemesis. She resolved to save her brother from the red-skinned satanoid and swooped down to rescue him.
"Cowly!"
"Chickadee!"
"Er, sister, what's that red coloured sky and ominous anti-matter storm above us doing...uh oh..."
WHAMPF
Earth-SP:
As yet another red sky and antimatter storm descended on a small dystopian semi-rural Colorado alpine town, a red-hooded indecipherable figure was abruptly teleported away:
"OhMyGod, Kenni is still alive?! But we're all going to die?" Stain said, looking up into the incandescent red firmament.
"Th'Bastards!" Kurl responded, although had doubts about whether this was indeed a villainous act as the evil fat Cartperson was the first Sloth Perk character to be silhouetted against the blinding white burst of energy.
WHAMPF
Earth-FG:
Mag also dematerialised as Byron, the superintelligent white bipedal dog, looked over at Stuie:
"Um, okay. Mag has been teleported away and Queathog is about to be obliterated by a highly derivative scarlet sky and antimatter storm."
"Is that it? I'm a football headed baby and I don't get to grow up to adulthood?"
"Hey, I've been killed off before until you changed history so I wasn't, you realise?"
"Come to mamma, baby!" Lotus sobbed at their imminent destruction. First the antimatter storm obliterated the sexist oaf Quartlemire and then it struggled to consume Poota Griffon and his equally obese irritating son, Crass. From somewhere, in her new identity as Harqueleen, Mag Griffon laughed evilly:
"That's for making unfunny, neverending, ghastly repetitious sexist jokes, you pack of grimacing, jabbering baboons ! Bye!!!"
WHAMPFETY WHAMPF WHAMPF
Earth- Dee Dee Elmyra:
"Owh! A cute widdle Legion of Swuper Pets... wherew are woo gowin, you cute cute super-animals... hey, wait a minute, where are those red skies and antimatter storms coming from?" And as collateral damage/a bonus, the equally annoying sister from that Dexter cartoon series was also instantaneously obliterated.
WHAMPF with Extreme Prejudice!!!
Earth-Stench:
"Mais what is thees? Wah is the beautiful jeune fille doeng clambing into that transmattair cube? Come 'ere, ma cherie...oh, she is goned. But whair did zeese antimatter storms and red skies carm frarm?" Merciful seconds later, there was an almighty surge of eldritch energies and Peppy Le Stench, the interspecies sexual harrasser who continuously imposed himself on an unwlling black and white female cat was utterly vaporised from any material contingency. And may I say with that atrocious cod French accent, good riddance!
WHAMPF
Earth-HB:
"They've already killed Blueberry Dog, Snarkypuss, Pixel and Diesel, Yoghurt Ursine and Bubo! Which one of us will be next?"
"Er, all of us?" Mr Jeenqs pointed up to a large spreading red blob of light as Mafibular Gorilla grimaced:
"Oh, that doesn't look good."
"Neither does that." Without any further ado or filler dialogue, all of the ensemble cast of Honker Banana were abruptly purged from existence.
WHAMPF
Earth-Pingu*:
"Slartibartfast knackered chickens?"
"Ease vat? Ooooh oooh oooh!"
"Horny pez weird oot?
"His zerbet his zerbet!"
"Red skies and anti-matter storms?"
"NOOK NOOK!"
WHAMPF WHAMPF!!!
*Earth-Pingu was abruptly rescued from ignominious destruction by Bat-Table, a grim and gritty fusion of Batman and a table who unfortunately also had Frank Miller's Batnan personality traits. In a sustained fit of mindless nihilism and severe out of continuity characterisation writerly ineptitude, the grimacing Bat-Table waddled around with a chainsaw, decapitating all of Earth-Pingu's inhabitants and mounting their heads on an art installation, in mid NOOK NOOK. I'm not sure whether this was some strange vengeance against Oswald Cobblepot, or whether Bat-Table was from an extremely low-probability alternate Earth where superheroes were fused with furniture as a matter of choice. Or whether Frank Miller was blind drunk that evening.
Earth- Ruptured Spectres:
"Oh look, what's that? I've never seen a supernatural manifestation that size before!" One of the Spectre Rupturer community service group observed.
"Uh, it may not be a supernatural manifestation. It looks more like a monstrous and unstoppable anti-matter storm and it's heading right this way! Run!" However, the electromagnetic and gravitational distortions had adversely affected their obese and glutinous green sidekick, Slimy due to his prodigious appetite, so that the anti-matter storm got him first due to the slow pace of his retreat, although it once more had to expand considerable effort in assimilating and annihilating him. Instants later, the anti-matter storm also destroyed several collateral alternate Earths associated with Earth Ruptured Spectres. That world and its associated universe were now indeed busted.
WHOMPF!!!
Earth R&S:
A Mexican automata hound called Wren looked up and realised the sky was suddenly crimson red and full of roiling antimatter hounds. He called to his friend- er, no accquaintance - Simpleton I. Cat, until the feline lugubriously noticed and began to saunter away from the rapidly accelerating oblivion cloud. Finally, though, the anti-matter storm caught up with Wren and Simpleton and they were forever wiped from existence, along with their somewhat juvenile routine involving body odour and ugliness. Unfortunately for the anti-matter storm, it had basically assimilated far too many large objects and had run out of capability until it digested it all. The red skies frowned and waited, with its metaphorical fingers thrumming...
WHOO... WHUH....WWW...
Earth-Badmanga:
Yes, somewhere in the infinite multiverse, there is an alternate Earth based solely on the Beastie Boys Japanese skiffy themed song Intergalactic Planetary. It involved Robotronor the Flatulent, a space travelling vaguely fearsome retro fifties artificial intelligence and three human offsiders who intone disjointed dialogue that sounds like their translator programme had too much sake to drink the night before and badly garbled the transcription from the original Japanese. It also seems to have had a kindergarten grasp of science. Anyway, Robotronor the Flatulent fought the mutated giant squidoid Zodgriller in a bargain basement version of Tokyo, before Zodgriller tripped off and banged into a electricity gantry, electrocuting itself. Robotronor abruptly and inexplicably blasted off again as an antimatter storm and roiling red skies descended on the badly constructed alternate Earth. Oblivious, Robotronor accelerated away and was consumed because it didn't look where it was going
"WHOOMPF!"
Earth-Sprungfield:
Ted Flounders looked up as a burgeoning red cloudburst turned the skies bright crimson. He was reunited with his beloved Mord and Ena a few seconds later. Mr Burned found himself unexpectedly in the arms of Woylan Smothers, his assistant for these many many many years and shrugged. He couldn't get out of this one, but at least he wouldn't die a pauper- although he would die, unfortunately. As the Sprungfield nuclear reactor was consumed, Hoover Samson tried to run away, but excessive consumption of circular, oversugared comestibles made his bulk creak and groan with the effort. "DOUGH!!!" Hoover moaned as the scarlet skies of death gave rise to a blinding antimatter storm. Principal Skooter, Trod and Odd Flounders, Abroom Samson, Aplu and the Comic Store Book Guy Man all died off-frame, so as not to divert attention from the poignant deaths of the core cast. Wiping a tear from her eye, Matty Samson went quietly to join her beloved husband, passing from existence, leaving their three children at the mercy of the cloud. Abruptly, in Lita Samson's bedroom, a blue rectangular shape with a blond haired woman inside materialised: "Come with me if you want to live!" With her sister Tilly in her hands, Lita ran into the incongruous blue rectangle, desperately reaching out to touch the hand of her brother Burt, but with an "Ay Venceramos!", Burt Samson was swept away from his sisters as the time machine dematerialised. Needless to say, the antimatter storm had by now digested far too much, especially Hoover Samson's bulk and the amount of doughnutty sugariness that it had swallowed.
WHOOOMPF WeeeepRFFFFFF!!!!
Earth-Anachronistic Hanna Barbara Ripoff Merger:
It wasn't actually destroyed, as Alf Jetstone, Thelma Jetstone, Buddy Dribble, Jerry Dribble, Mikey Dribble and Proto the One-Celled Giant Amoeba descended on the Great Whazoo and sacrificed the indescribably ghastly short green bulbously headed antennaed alien and Captain Jetcave (also an alien) to Moreluch, the cannibalistic space god they worshipped . And due to the thaumaturgic properties of that world and the universe within which it was embedded, the sacrifice had efficacy and so it was fortuitously left intact. In the Brand New Multiverse, it is now Earth- 10,117.
No WHAMPF
Dear Fanfic Author:
I take strong exception to the characterisation of several of the Earths that you suggest that I obliterated from existence above. Granted, as you imply, they were all indeed horrible, smarmy mass marketed crappy animated kiddies series whose jejune protagonists deserved to die, hideously. In fact, that's the main problem with your description. One suspects that much of the audience also shares our mutual sadistic impulses toward the grotesque creatures in question and therefore, I'd be doing the multiverse a great favour by totally vaporising those ghastly objects from any corporeal existence. Look, I'm an Omega class supervillain with nearly unlimited cosmic powers. I don't do heroic destruction of threats to blood glucose levels, intelligence, sanity or good taste. I'm evil. None of this moral ambiguity nonsense, thank you very much. It's ruined the career of many a promising supervillain. Please, spare us the wish-fulfillment fantasies.
Yours Malignantly
The Anti-Monitor
A rectangular yellow sponge walked toward his workplace, to deliver fast seafood to the submarine town's patronage:
"Oh... who lives in a lobster cage under the sea?
Spongejim Saggytrousers!
What are those red skies and antimatter storms doing above me?...
Red skies and antimatter storms?!"
The jocular sponge had no time to ponder the presence or meaning of the phenomena above him, as the antimatter storms raced across the seabed and obliterated him from existence midsong. Seconds later, assorted crabs, whales, squids and starfish joined him in oblivion and extinction. Especially that impossible female whale spawned from the union of a crab and who knows what sort of creature or genetic experiment...
WHAMPF! went the antimatter storm sound effect as it consumed one more alternate Earth.
Earth Crapmonks:
And next, an Earth that was dominated by three annoying high-pitched musical rodents named Simeon, Elvis and Theodolite was vaporised before the horrible little creatures had a chance to open their mouths...
WHAMPF!
Earth- Annoying Small Black Chick:
"Mumma mumma where are you?...wait a minute, since when were red skies and faster than light antimatter storms part of this world?"
"I don't know Quasimodo. We're just terribly dubbed characters who interact with you and get paid far too little." said a buxom chicken, seemingly Quasimodo's mother.
"Our imminent obliteration by oncoming red skies of destruction is an injustice, it is..." But no sooner had the incredibly annoying small black egg-helmeted chick complained about the impending events than there was an almighty
WHAMPF!!
Earth-Caillou:
"CaillAAAARGHHH!!!!"
"It's not fair!!! Why does my world have to be gratuitously obliterated from existence by red skies and roiling anti AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
WHAMPF
Earth- Annoying Purple Dinosaur:
"Barney is a dinosaur
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!!
Earth- Insufferable Red Furry Juvenile Muppet:
"La la la la la la, Elmo ...is about to be wiped from existence by crimson skies and antimatter storms?!"
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!! WHAMPF!!!
Earth-Crappy Doo:
"Tra la la la...Puppy..." At which point, Crappy Doo was struck by a transcendental anti-energy bolt in Miami, leading to the death of the extremely annoying diminutive and totally useless Great Dane puppy. Microseconds later, so was his entire Earth and universe of origin and was indeed immolated and obliterated several times over, just to make sure.
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!! WHAMPF!!!!
Earth- Reprehensible Citrus:
"No! No! Not the Giant Antimatter Juicer-!!!" SQUELCH
WHAMPF
Earth-Pork:
"La la la la la, la la la la la! Peppered Pork-EEEEEEKKK!!! What is that, Paternal Pork?"
WHAMPF
Earth- Ghastly Small Blue Creatures Who Live in A Toadstool Village And Use S Words Monotonously:
"Oh Pop A Snurve!!! Why are those red skies and antimatter clouds roiling above us?"
"I suspect it's a plot of Garglemurl and his evil cat Disrael- no hang on, they just teleported out of here to a more convivial alternate Earth. Uh, Snurvetta?"
"Yes, Pop A Snurve?"
"RUN!!!" But it was far, far too late for all the Snurves and their toadstool village, which were agonisingly and painfully obliterated from existence by the by-now familiar red skies and copious thundering antimatter storms.
WHAMPF! WHAMPF!! WHAMPF!!! WHAMPF!!!!
Earth-Pokemoan:
"Pikanose! I choose YOU!" screeched Aitch Ketchup in an irritating high-pitched call.
"Pika pika oh SH-"
"Making absurd cliches with no hesitation!'
"About to face total and meaningless obliteration! Wait, what?"
"Jasper!"
"Joan!"
"We are Team Crock o' Sh.... EYYYAAAHHHH!!!" And that gets rid of those badly dubbed annoying Japanese import characters!
WHAMPF WHAMPF WHAMPF
Earth C&C:
"MOO! Even with all of my superpowers and annoying high-pitched screechy voice, I can't save them all!!! MOO!" Supermoo pined, as her older 'brother' Chickadee (it's a long story involving experimental zoopregnancy grappled to the death with the devilish Mr Heindquarters, their nemesis. She resolved to save her brother from the red-skinned satanoid and swooped down to rescue him.
"Cowly!"
"Chickadee!"
"Er, sister, what's that red coloured sky and ominous anti-matter storm above us doing...uh oh..."
WHAMPF
Earth-SP:
As yet another red sky and antimatter storm descended on a small dystopian semi-rural Colorado alpine town, a red-hooded indecipherable figure was abruptly teleported away:
"OhMyGod, Kenni is still alive?! But we're all going to die?" Stain said, looking up into the incandescent red firmament.
"Th'Bastards!" Kurl responded, although had doubts about whether this was indeed a villainous act as the evil fat Cartperson was the first Sloth Perk character to be silhouetted against the blinding white burst of energy.
WHAMPF
Earth-FG:
Mag also dematerialised as Byron, the superintelligent white bipedal dog, looked over at Stuie:
"Um, okay. Mag has been teleported away and Queathog is about to be obliterated by a highly derivative scarlet sky and antimatter storm."
"Is that it? I'm a football headed baby and I don't get to grow up to adulthood?"
"Hey, I've been killed off before until you changed history so I wasn't, you realise?"
"Come to mamma, baby!" Lotus sobbed at their imminent destruction. First the antimatter storm obliterated the sexist oaf Quartlemire and then it struggled to consume Poota Griffon and his equally obese irritating son, Crass. From somewhere, in her new identity as Harqueleen, Mag Griffon laughed evilly:
"That's for making unfunny, neverending, ghastly repetitious sexist jokes, you pack of grimacing, jabbering baboons ! Bye!!!"
WHAMPFETY WHAMPF WHAMPF
Earth- Dee Dee Elmyra:
"Owh! A cute widdle Legion of Swuper Pets... wherew are woo gowin, you cute cute super-animals... hey, wait a minute, where are those red skies and antimatter storms coming from?" And as collateral damage/a bonus, the equally annoying sister from that Dexter cartoon series was also instantaneously obliterated.
WHAMPF with Extreme Prejudice!!!
Earth-Stench:
"Mais what is thees? Wah is the beautiful jeune fille doeng clambing into that transmattair cube? Come 'ere, ma cherie...oh, she is goned. But whair did zeese antimatter storms and red skies carm frarm?" Merciful seconds later, there was an almighty surge of eldritch energies and Peppy Le Stench, the interspecies sexual harrasser who continuously imposed himself on an unwlling black and white female cat was utterly vaporised from any material contingency. And may I say with that atrocious cod French accent, good riddance!
WHAMPF
Earth-HB:
"They've already killed Blueberry Dog, Snarkypuss, Pixel and Diesel, Yoghurt Ursine and Bubo! Which one of us will be next?"
"Er, all of us?" Mr Jeenqs pointed up to a large spreading red blob of light as Mafibular Gorilla grimaced:
"Oh, that doesn't look good."
"Neither does that." Without any further ado or filler dialogue, all of the ensemble cast of Honker Banana were abruptly purged from existence.
WHAMPF
Earth-Pingu*:
"Slartibartfast knackered chickens?"
"Ease vat? Ooooh oooh oooh!"
"Horny pez weird oot?
"His zerbet his zerbet!"
"Red skies and anti-matter storms?"
"NOOK NOOK!"
WHAMPF WHAMPF!!!
*Earth-Pingu was abruptly rescued from ignominious destruction by Bat-Table, a grim and gritty fusion of Batman and a table who unfortunately also had Frank Miller's Batnan personality traits. In a sustained fit of mindless nihilism and severe out of continuity characterisation writerly ineptitude, the grimacing Bat-Table waddled around with a chainsaw, decapitating all of Earth-Pingu's inhabitants and mounting their heads on an art installation, in mid NOOK NOOK. I'm not sure whether this was some strange vengeance against Oswald Cobblepot, or whether Bat-Table was from an extremely low-probability alternate Earth where superheroes were fused with furniture as a matter of choice. Or whether Frank Miller was blind drunk that evening.
Earth- Ruptured Spectres:
"Oh look, what's that? I've never seen a supernatural manifestation that size before!" One of the Spectre Rupturer community service group observed.
"Uh, it may not be a supernatural manifestation. It looks more like a monstrous and unstoppable anti-matter storm and it's heading right this way! Run!" However, the electromagnetic and gravitational distortions had adversely affected their obese and glutinous green sidekick, Slimy due to his prodigious appetite, so that the anti-matter storm got him first due to the slow pace of his retreat, although it once more had to expand considerable effort in assimilating and annihilating him. Instants later, the anti-matter storm also destroyed several collateral alternate Earths associated with Earth Ruptured Spectres. That world and its associated universe were now indeed busted.
WHOMPF!!!
Earth R&S:
A Mexican automata hound called Wren looked up and realised the sky was suddenly crimson red and full of roiling antimatter hounds. He called to his friend- er, no accquaintance - Simpleton I. Cat, until the feline lugubriously noticed and began to saunter away from the rapidly accelerating oblivion cloud. Finally, though, the anti-matter storm caught up with Wren and Simpleton and they were forever wiped from existence, along with their somewhat juvenile routine involving body odour and ugliness. Unfortunately for the anti-matter storm, it had basically assimilated far too many large objects and had run out of capability until it digested it all. The red skies frowned and waited, with its metaphorical fingers thrumming...
WHOO... WHUH....WWW...
Earth-Badmanga:
Yes, somewhere in the infinite multiverse, there is an alternate Earth based solely on the Beastie Boys Japanese skiffy themed song Intergalactic Planetary. It involved Robotronor the Flatulent, a space travelling vaguely fearsome retro fifties artificial intelligence and three human offsiders who intone disjointed dialogue that sounds like their translator programme had too much sake to drink the night before and badly garbled the transcription from the original Japanese. It also seems to have had a kindergarten grasp of science. Anyway, Robotronor the Flatulent fought the mutated giant squidoid Zodgriller in a bargain basement version of Tokyo, before Zodgriller tripped off and banged into a electricity gantry, electrocuting itself. Robotronor abruptly and inexplicably blasted off again as an antimatter storm and roiling red skies descended on the badly constructed alternate Earth. Oblivious, Robotronor accelerated away and was consumed because it didn't look where it was going
"WHOOMPF!"
Earth-Sprungfield:
Ted Flounders looked up as a burgeoning red cloudburst turned the skies bright crimson. He was reunited with his beloved Mord and Ena a few seconds later. Mr Burned found himself unexpectedly in the arms of Woylan Smothers, his assistant for these many many many years and shrugged. He couldn't get out of this one, but at least he wouldn't die a pauper- although he would die, unfortunately. As the Sprungfield nuclear reactor was consumed, Hoover Samson tried to run away, but excessive consumption of circular, oversugared comestibles made his bulk creak and groan with the effort. "DOUGH!!!" Hoover moaned as the scarlet skies of death gave rise to a blinding antimatter storm. Principal Skooter, Trod and Odd Flounders, Abroom Samson, Aplu and the Comic Store Book Guy Man all died off-frame, so as not to divert attention from the poignant deaths of the core cast. Wiping a tear from her eye, Matty Samson went quietly to join her beloved husband, passing from existence, leaving their three children at the mercy of the cloud. Abruptly, in Lita Samson's bedroom, a blue rectangular shape with a blond haired woman inside materialised: "Come with me if you want to live!" With her sister Tilly in her hands, Lita ran into the incongruous blue rectangle, desperately reaching out to touch the hand of her brother Burt, but with an "Ay Venceramos!", Burt Samson was swept away from his sisters as the time machine dematerialised. Needless to say, the antimatter storm had by now digested far too much, especially Hoover Samson's bulk and the amount of doughnutty sugariness that it had swallowed.
WHOOOMPF WeeeepRFFFFFF!!!!
Earth-Anachronistic Hanna Barbara Ripoff Merger:
It wasn't actually destroyed, as Alf Jetstone, Thelma Jetstone, Buddy Dribble, Jerry Dribble, Mikey Dribble and Proto the One-Celled Giant Amoeba descended on the Great Whazoo and sacrificed the indescribably ghastly short green bulbously headed antennaed alien and Captain Jetcave (also an alien) to Moreluch, the cannibalistic space god they worshipped . And due to the thaumaturgic properties of that world and the universe within which it was embedded, the sacrifice had efficacy and so it was fortuitously left intact. In the Brand New Multiverse, it is now Earth- 10,117.
No WHAMPF
Dear Fanfic Author:
I take strong exception to the characterisation of several of the Earths that you suggest that I obliterated from existence above. Granted, as you imply, they were all indeed horrible, smarmy mass marketed crappy animated kiddies series whose jejune protagonists deserved to die, hideously. In fact, that's the main problem with your description. One suspects that much of the audience also shares our mutual sadistic impulses toward the grotesque creatures in question and therefore, I'd be doing the multiverse a great favour by totally vaporising those ghastly objects from any corporeal existence. Look, I'm an Omega class supervillain with nearly unlimited cosmic powers. I don't do heroic destruction of threats to blood glucose levels, intelligence, sanity or good taste. I'm evil. None of this moral ambiguity nonsense, thank you very much. It's ruined the career of many a promising supervillain. Please, spare us the wish-fulfillment fantasies.
Yours Malignantly
The Anti-Monitor