Post by redsycorax on Oct 7, 2020 3:50:26 GMT
On Earth-55, the Freedom Brigade do have their individual adventures. So come with us now to Slightly Dilapidated Warlock Manor, home to Buck Warlock, undead husband of Bat Woman in her civilian identity, Victoria Katt. There was nothing much to do in the downtime between missions and she was tired of watching the Bat Girls play tag in the Warlock Manor gardens, so she wandered into Buck's study where her porcelain white faced husband was busy conversing with his brother Walter about his disintegrating relationship with his spouse Barbara.
"Trouble, dearest?"
"We caught a coven of visiting satanists from Wheatley down the road. They were trying to resurrect P.S. Peculiar."
"But he isn't dead yet."
"At his age, it's difficult to tell. And Walt and Barbara's relationship is almost on the rocks again. Honestly, it's more convoluted than our neighbour Barrabas Colons and his ridiculously interrelated clan in Colonsputt and people need a road map to explain that. So the Freedom Brigade isn't doing much at the moment?"
"Not really. We have a major Earth invasion scheduled for next Wednesday, but nothing much until then. Hey, where's the introductory blurb gone?"
Little did Bat Woman know that she was about to confront a fiendish scheme from...Invaders From the Second Dimension!!! And have a crossover with her hitherto unknown alternate-Earth counterparts, Flatman and Ribbon!!!
"Oh, there it is. Wait a minute! Flatman and Ribbon?! Look, as I repeatedly state, the role of Batman analogue on this Earth is occupied by me, and I have the cast iron contract to prove it! Badman and Badgirl are infringing on my intellectual property."
"Uh, sweetheart? Look down there, on that piece of paper."
Puny three-dimensional weaklings! Quake and tremble before us, your new and terrifying overlords from... the Second Dimension!!! The voice came from a curious creature which exhibited bilateral symmetry, who had two eyes on either side of its body, and whose internal organs were visible to Buck and Vicky.
"Okay, so we're being invaded by interlopers with length and height, but no volume. So really, they're confined to surfaces and won't be able to break through and cause real trouble?"
Hist, analogous type woman in swimsuit, domino mask and with a large bat crest emblazoned on it! Do not fear!! We're Flatman and Ribbon from the planet Aerff-2D! These creatures were dressed differently from the others, with the same bulbous eyes on either side of its head and transparent body in which the working of their innards could plainly be witnessed. One of them had points atop what seemed to be a familiar headmask, while the other's lower clothing consisted of green shorts. The names "Enyawecurb" and "Nosyargkcid" appeared above them, as did the backdrop of a large mound, labelled "Ronamenyaw." The creatures seemed to move in straight lines, or through bounding. Their feet seemed to be ambidextrous and capable of swivelling when they jumped, so they could travel in either direction. Elsewhere, there was an image of what seemed to be a criminal stabbing "Enyawsamoht" and "Enyawahtram" with a sharpened line, leaving their bereaved ...bud... to promise to avenge them as "Flatman." These creatures must be descended from something like our Earth's flatworms or planaria, reasoned Vicky. And evidently, Aerff-2D must actually lie within a two dimensional universe and wouldn't have been affected by the Great Crisis, which was restricted to three-dimensional alternate Earths.
"Look, this is just ridiculous. And incidentally, you do realise we can see your internal organs at work from here? It's not a very nice sight at all."
"Exactly how does Aerff-2D plan to invade us?"
Wipe out your collective written literature as we move within its surfaces. Let's face it, that's all we really can do.
"Oh, all right. Say, do your villainous counterparts know anything about erasers?'
Flatman and Ribbon did the twodeeverse version of gasps:
You mean... you have the ultimate weapon? The Wiper Out of Existence? Clearly, you are far more advanced than our tyrannical rulers estimated!!!
"Okay, watch as I use the Bat Rubber to dispose of your command centre and destroy your legions of fearsome invaders, like so..." Vicky did as she had threatened, leaving Flatman and Ribbon quite pleased.
You have liberated us from tyranny! Now Ribbon and I must return to the Twodeeverse and lead the Justice Line of Twodeemerica against the remnants of their cruel regime! Farewell, unseen but benevolent three-dimensional beings!! Flatman and Ribbon moved off the page interface with the three dimensional universe inside which Earth-55 lay, and out of sight. Had Buck and Vicky been able to actually see Aerff-2D, they would have witnessed an enormous circle in which were inscribed outlines of continental shelves and blue colouration meant to signify water. Microscopic definition would have shown tiny hillocks that were actually 'large' conurbations by their standards, although all of the major conurbations were spelt inversely- thus, "Kroy Wen", "Notgnihsaw", "Ogacihc", "Tiorted", "Selenga Sol", "Ocsisnarf Nas", "Sallad", "Imaim", "Atnalta" and so on. When it came to more relevant analogues, "Mahtog" and "Siloportem" were also present, as were "Ellivllams", "Ytic Tsaoc", "Ytic Rats", "Yitc Yawdim" and "Nwot Yvi".
"Well, that was mostly pointless. That 'adventure' only took two minutes duration from beginning to end. I think I might go and take the Bat Girls flyfishing."
THE END
"Trouble, dearest?"
"We caught a coven of visiting satanists from Wheatley down the road. They were trying to resurrect P.S. Peculiar."
"But he isn't dead yet."
"At his age, it's difficult to tell. And Walt and Barbara's relationship is almost on the rocks again. Honestly, it's more convoluted than our neighbour Barrabas Colons and his ridiculously interrelated clan in Colonsputt and people need a road map to explain that. So the Freedom Brigade isn't doing much at the moment?"
"Not really. We have a major Earth invasion scheduled for next Wednesday, but nothing much until then. Hey, where's the introductory blurb gone?"
Little did Bat Woman know that she was about to confront a fiendish scheme from...Invaders From the Second Dimension!!! And have a crossover with her hitherto unknown alternate-Earth counterparts, Flatman and Ribbon!!!
"Oh, there it is. Wait a minute! Flatman and Ribbon?! Look, as I repeatedly state, the role of Batman analogue on this Earth is occupied by me, and I have the cast iron contract to prove it! Badman and Badgirl are infringing on my intellectual property."
"Uh, sweetheart? Look down there, on that piece of paper."
Puny three-dimensional weaklings! Quake and tremble before us, your new and terrifying overlords from... the Second Dimension!!! The voice came from a curious creature which exhibited bilateral symmetry, who had two eyes on either side of its body, and whose internal organs were visible to Buck and Vicky.
"Okay, so we're being invaded by interlopers with length and height, but no volume. So really, they're confined to surfaces and won't be able to break through and cause real trouble?"
Hist, analogous type woman in swimsuit, domino mask and with a large bat crest emblazoned on it! Do not fear!! We're Flatman and Ribbon from the planet Aerff-2D! These creatures were dressed differently from the others, with the same bulbous eyes on either side of its head and transparent body in which the working of their innards could plainly be witnessed. One of them had points atop what seemed to be a familiar headmask, while the other's lower clothing consisted of green shorts. The names "Enyawecurb" and "Nosyargkcid" appeared above them, as did the backdrop of a large mound, labelled "Ronamenyaw." The creatures seemed to move in straight lines, or through bounding. Their feet seemed to be ambidextrous and capable of swivelling when they jumped, so they could travel in either direction. Elsewhere, there was an image of what seemed to be a criminal stabbing "Enyawsamoht" and "Enyawahtram" with a sharpened line, leaving their bereaved ...bud... to promise to avenge them as "Flatman." These creatures must be descended from something like our Earth's flatworms or planaria, reasoned Vicky. And evidently, Aerff-2D must actually lie within a two dimensional universe and wouldn't have been affected by the Great Crisis, which was restricted to three-dimensional alternate Earths.
"Look, this is just ridiculous. And incidentally, you do realise we can see your internal organs at work from here? It's not a very nice sight at all."
"Exactly how does Aerff-2D plan to invade us?"
Wipe out your collective written literature as we move within its surfaces. Let's face it, that's all we really can do.
"Oh, all right. Say, do your villainous counterparts know anything about erasers?'
Flatman and Ribbon did the twodeeverse version of gasps:
You mean... you have the ultimate weapon? The Wiper Out of Existence? Clearly, you are far more advanced than our tyrannical rulers estimated!!!
"Okay, watch as I use the Bat Rubber to dispose of your command centre and destroy your legions of fearsome invaders, like so..." Vicky did as she had threatened, leaving Flatman and Ribbon quite pleased.
You have liberated us from tyranny! Now Ribbon and I must return to the Twodeeverse and lead the Justice Line of Twodeemerica against the remnants of their cruel regime! Farewell, unseen but benevolent three-dimensional beings!! Flatman and Ribbon moved off the page interface with the three dimensional universe inside which Earth-55 lay, and out of sight. Had Buck and Vicky been able to actually see Aerff-2D, they would have witnessed an enormous circle in which were inscribed outlines of continental shelves and blue colouration meant to signify water. Microscopic definition would have shown tiny hillocks that were actually 'large' conurbations by their standards, although all of the major conurbations were spelt inversely- thus, "Kroy Wen", "Notgnihsaw", "Ogacihc", "Tiorted", "Selenga Sol", "Ocsisnarf Nas", "Sallad", "Imaim", "Atnalta" and so on. When it came to more relevant analogues, "Mahtog" and "Siloportem" were also present, as were "Ellivllams", "Ytic Tsaoc", "Ytic Rats", "Yitc Yawdim" and "Nwot Yvi".
"Well, that was mostly pointless. That 'adventure' only took two minutes duration from beginning to end. I think I might go and take the Bat Girls flyfishing."
THE END