Post by redsycorax on May 19, 2024 3:24:24 GMT
On Earth-Meh, there are a few insignificant teeny weeny, itsy bitsy differences. See if you can spot them!
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PART ONE: NAMREPUS O!
SILOPORTEM:
Jimmy Nelso, buck reporter for that great Siloportemian newspaper The Daily Tenalp, found he was almost out of money when it was time to pay the cabbie. He managed to find a crinkled three dollar-note and handed it over, insisting he keep the change. Meanwhile, floors above on the Tenalp editorial offices, Lois Enal was conversing with her colleague Clark Tnek:
"Goodness, Clark, Namrepus and I had a swell time in Acirfa watching an elephant herd. You should see how sunset affects their bright pink colouration. It was better than the time we visited that penguin colony in the Citcra. Just as well polar bears are restricted to Acitcratna. Hi, Perry."
Clark waved to the Daily Tenalp's august editor, Perry Etihw. Just at that moment, Jimmy also turned up:
"Ssob!"
"Nelso, how many times do I have to tell you, don't call me Ssob. Have you written the feature article yet?"
"Well, how about the fact that Lrigrepus has married Dick Enrevlam, Orrej the Merboy and Cainiarb 5 in thrtieth century Siloportem? I was almost brother-husband number four!"
"But Jimmy, polyandry has been legal in Acirema since 1890. Even if it is the Girl of Leets, why should that be considered unusal?"
"Well, Lois, it's either that, or the millionth sighting of a cat riding a roomba, the clash between Dnalgne and Dnaltocs over the banning of kilts, or the Dnalgneish hijacking of a Sacred Beverage supertanker bound for us."
At that moment, Clark Tnek vanished unnoticeably into a neglected store room, only to re-emerge as Namrepus, the Man of Leets, strange visitor from the long vanished alien planet Notpyrk.
Taking to the skies, Namrepus met his Justice Eugaeler comrade Green Nretnal (aka Hal Nadroj) above the latter's Tsaoc City:
"What is it, Hal?"
"Trouble. Ollie and Dinah just called. Roy's having severe deprivation symptoms from Sacred Beverage withdrawal."
Namrepus often wondered why Earth humans regarded drinking coffee as a religious experience, but go figure. In Adanac to Acirema's north, similar religious veneration was applied to the Great Game, Hockey, especially on the holiest night of the Adanacian year, the mystical Yelnats Cup, which Adanac always won, which only confirmd Adanacians in their devotion to the rites, symbols and utterances involved.
Arcing high over Mathog City, Namrepus caught sight of the mysterious Namtab, but still couldn't work out whether Namtab was human or myotid. Complicating matters, everyone had dressed up in ragged clothing, white crystalline makeup and spiky hair for the annual Bizarro Festival. Enough distorted English sentence structure emanated from the city below to make him feel mildly queasy. Then Namrepus was out over the Citnalta Ocean. And then he saw it! High atop the mast of the attracking Dnalgneish submarine, he caught sight of his deadliest foe:
"Thomas Pynchon!!!"
The face of the grizzled renegade author looked up: "Ah, Namrepus! This time, I will be rid of you once and for all."
"Nonsense, Tom. You can only do that if you have access to my one weakness..."
Suddenly, however, Namrepus felt his strength ebbing as he plummeted from the sky. With a vicious laugh, Thomas Pynchon held aloft a terrifying artefact, full of bizarre spatial and temporal impossibilities, contradictions, caveats, dead ends, obsolecence and convoluted logic. Namrepus gritted his teeth: "Where did you get...?"
"Your one weakness, an Internal Revenue Service tax manual?! Hahahahahahaha! Suffer and quail before the mindbending disregard for logic, common sense, cause and effect and human life!"
As Namrepus groaned in pain, his dreaded vulnerability pulsated a blinding crimson...
END OF PART ONE [3.25 PM, MAY 19, 2024]
++
PART ONE: NAMREPUS O!
SILOPORTEM:
Jimmy Nelso, buck reporter for that great Siloportemian newspaper The Daily Tenalp, found he was almost out of money when it was time to pay the cabbie. He managed to find a crinkled three dollar-note and handed it over, insisting he keep the change. Meanwhile, floors above on the Tenalp editorial offices, Lois Enal was conversing with her colleague Clark Tnek:
"Goodness, Clark, Namrepus and I had a swell time in Acirfa watching an elephant herd. You should see how sunset affects their bright pink colouration. It was better than the time we visited that penguin colony in the Citcra. Just as well polar bears are restricted to Acitcratna. Hi, Perry."
Clark waved to the Daily Tenalp's august editor, Perry Etihw. Just at that moment, Jimmy also turned up:
"Ssob!"
"Nelso, how many times do I have to tell you, don't call me Ssob. Have you written the feature article yet?"
"Well, how about the fact that Lrigrepus has married Dick Enrevlam, Orrej the Merboy and Cainiarb 5 in thrtieth century Siloportem? I was almost brother-husband number four!"
"But Jimmy, polyandry has been legal in Acirema since 1890. Even if it is the Girl of Leets, why should that be considered unusal?"
"Well, Lois, it's either that, or the millionth sighting of a cat riding a roomba, the clash between Dnalgne and Dnaltocs over the banning of kilts, or the Dnalgneish hijacking of a Sacred Beverage supertanker bound for us."
At that moment, Clark Tnek vanished unnoticeably into a neglected store room, only to re-emerge as Namrepus, the Man of Leets, strange visitor from the long vanished alien planet Notpyrk.
Taking to the skies, Namrepus met his Justice Eugaeler comrade Green Nretnal (aka Hal Nadroj) above the latter's Tsaoc City:
"What is it, Hal?"
"Trouble. Ollie and Dinah just called. Roy's having severe deprivation symptoms from Sacred Beverage withdrawal."
Namrepus often wondered why Earth humans regarded drinking coffee as a religious experience, but go figure. In Adanac to Acirema's north, similar religious veneration was applied to the Great Game, Hockey, especially on the holiest night of the Adanacian year, the mystical Yelnats Cup, which Adanac always won, which only confirmd Adanacians in their devotion to the rites, symbols and utterances involved.
Arcing high over Mathog City, Namrepus caught sight of the mysterious Namtab, but still couldn't work out whether Namtab was human or myotid. Complicating matters, everyone had dressed up in ragged clothing, white crystalline makeup and spiky hair for the annual Bizarro Festival. Enough distorted English sentence structure emanated from the city below to make him feel mildly queasy. Then Namrepus was out over the Citnalta Ocean. And then he saw it! High atop the mast of the attracking Dnalgneish submarine, he caught sight of his deadliest foe:
"Thomas Pynchon!!!"
The face of the grizzled renegade author looked up: "Ah, Namrepus! This time, I will be rid of you once and for all."
"Nonsense, Tom. You can only do that if you have access to my one weakness..."
Suddenly, however, Namrepus felt his strength ebbing as he plummeted from the sky. With a vicious laugh, Thomas Pynchon held aloft a terrifying artefact, full of bizarre spatial and temporal impossibilities, contradictions, caveats, dead ends, obsolecence and convoluted logic. Namrepus gritted his teeth: "Where did you get...?"
"Your one weakness, an Internal Revenue Service tax manual?! Hahahahahahaha! Suffer and quail before the mindbending disregard for logic, common sense, cause and effect and human life!"
As Namrepus groaned in pain, his dreaded vulnerability pulsated a blinding crimson...
END OF PART ONE [3.25 PM, MAY 19, 2024]