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Post by dans on Jun 23, 2024 20:13:34 GMT
I'm finally ready to publish some of the story we've been discussing in other threads - some backstory around the origin of Atom Blake, Boy Wizard. I'm trying to smooth out some of the discontinuities in his origin story from WOW Comics 1 - 5, published quarterly, issue 1 in Jan 1940, issue 5 in Jan 1941 - probably one of the last comics written before Pearl Harbor... Anyway, to summarize, teenage Atom Blake asks his foster parents how he came to live with them, and his foster father gives him some documents and a signet ring that were left to him by his father. Atom is already an exceptional boy, stronger than 4 men, although he has always hidden his superior abilities. The documents explain how his father experimented on him as a baby, exposing him to deadly radiation, and that gave him his superior powers. During an adventure with his friend Dusty, Atom is once again exposed to the same deadly radiation. In the next adventure, he shows even greater powers. So here's the backstory. It is not an action packed adventure, but I tried to put in a little excitement. I would really appreciate comments - is it too long and wordy? You might find it useful to have access to WOW Comics 1 - 3 while reading this so you can see how it fits with what is revealed there. You can find WOW comics online - I recommend comicbookplus.com, in the search bar at the top search for "WOW Comics" OK, let's try this again. I've deleted everything from the last time, so everything below is new - although some of it is very similar to what I posted before. There are a few chapters still in the works, but I should be done with them shortly. I am pretty sure this backstory covers all the 'facts' presented to us in the existing origin of Atom Blake. So, keep reading for the story of Stuart and Marie Blake, Atom's parents...
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Post by dans on Jun 23, 2024 20:20:21 GMT
The Ballad of the Blakes PrologueIn 1940 and 1941, Fawcett Comics had a series named Atom Blake, Boy Wizard, which ran in WOW Comics 1 - 5. Atom was a teenager who as an infant had been given super scientific treatments designed to give him super powers - but after the penultimate treatment, his parents Stuart and Marie (who were the scientists giving him the treatments) disappeared, leaving Atom to grow up with his 'Uncle' Joe and 'Aunt Nora' Page, who were close friends of the Blake family. Nobody knew why Stuart and Marie disappeared or where they had gone, and only Atom was aware that the treatments had given him superior abilities to his peers. And not even Atom knew that one more treatment would vastly increase those abilities yet again! This is the story of Stuart and Marie Blake... You can read the original Atom Blake: Boy Wizard series online at either Comic Book Plus or the Digital Comics Museum. FiredTime: Early 1920 Location: an office on the campus of Hamilton University in New York City, one of the nation’s leading scientific research institutions… Hamilton University President Bracegirdle leaned back in his leather chair, a look of feigned regret on his face. "Blake, I'm afraid we have to let you go," he began. “I must inform you of your termination from the position of Associate Professor of Research at Hamilton University. Your last seven submissions have all been rejected by respected journals, which has tarnished the university's reputation in the academic and scientific communities." Stuart Blake, a tall and thin man with black hair and a stern face hidden beneath a bushy beard and mustache, stood before President Bracegirdle's desk. Bracegirdle had not offered him a seat. The office was lined with shelves full of leather-bound books and diplomas from prestigious universities. But Stuart knew that none of that mattered now. He had already mentally said goodbye to this place and its politics. After Bracegirdle's preamble, he nodded, not surprised but still saddened by the news. In fact, he had already made plans for his post-professorship life. He would continue to delve into his passions for science (particularly space flight) and mathematics on his own terms, free from department politics and bureaucracy - and dealing with bureaucrats like Bracegirdle! And while leaving Hamilton University was bittersweet, he couldn't help but feel a sense of freedom and excitement for what lay ahead. Bracegirdle continued disdainfully, " What I find particularly reprehensible is your continued idiotic insistence that it is possible, today, to build a space plane that can fly to other planets!" He stopped and laughed scornfully. ”Our internal committee has carefully reviewed your rejected submissions and concurs with the scathing critiques provided by the journals. They state that your theories are laced with incomprehensible mathematics, and all attempts to replicate your results have been met with abject failure." Now he stood and continued to speak sharply. "You cannot simply conjure up new mathematical concepts out of the ether, Blake!" His tone was accusatory, punctuated by a sharp jab of his finger. Stuart sneered sarcastically as he replied, ticking off his fingers with each name. "Brahmagupta, Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi, Newton, Hipparchus...all dismissed and derided by their peers for daring to challenge conventional thinking. But where would we be without their revolutionary contributions?" He shrugged, his eyes blazing with anger. "And now here we are again, surrounded by these so-called 'academic experts' who can't even fathom the brilliance of a new idea. They're too afraid to think outside their narrow little boxes, too limited in their imaginations to see the potential before them. And so they reject it without even trying to understand." Stuart was livid and ready to continue the argument, but Bracegirdle didn’t give him a chance. “Here is your severance pay,” Bracegirdle said flatly, slapping a thin envelope on his desk. “Please remove all of your personal belongings from your office…” Stuart interrupted, "What about my lab?" "According to the terms of your contract, everything in the lab belongs to the university. You are not allowed to enter the lab!" "That's just fantastic...I suppose soon enough some of your trained monkeys will be publishing MY discoveries and using equipment that I built to claim them as their own. Well, you better warn your monkeys to be careful! Anyone who attempts to use something I created without understanding it could put themselves in danger." Bracegirdle's eyes narrowed in anger. "That is a baseless and slanderous accusation. I could have you prosecuted for defaming the university!" he retorted loudly. But then his tone changed, filled with mocking amusement. "Besides, all of it is just junk anyway. We’re planning on scrapping it all." “Of course you’re planning on scrapping a half million dollars of complex electronic instrumentation,” Stuart laughed in disbelief. “OK, find out for yourself. I’ve warned you, and clearly you don't need me around to teach you how to safely operate my inventions. Anyone who has ever been in my lab knows that there are warning signs everywhere - so when one of your monkeys gets injured because he’s too incompetent to pay attention to the warnings, don’t even think about blaming me!” Stuart smirked to himself. Months ago, he had rendered every piece of equipment he built over the past decade inoperable and had taken all of his research documentation out of his office. No one was going to steal credit for his discoveries once he left! Plus, he had been interviewed by a local newspaper last month, and the picture they published clearly showed his warning signs. “There’s nothing in my office I want,” he sneered again at President Bracegirdle. “You won’t be seeing me again.” He turned and left, closing the door quietly behind him. And as he walked out of Bracegirdle's office, he couldn't help but feel a sense of relief and excitement for the future that lay ahead, free from the confines of the scientific and academic communities. He was whistling the cheery tune of the popular song My Little Bimbo Down on the Bamboo Isle as he walked in the door. “OK, darling, THAT’S taken care of. Time to schedule the movers and get started on our dreams to fly into space!" New Home, New EnterpriseStuart and Marie Blake walked hand-in-hand as they toured their new property, a former farm just north of Greenwich, CT. The former owners, Ben and Mary Strouse, had retired to Florida when sales made by Ben's company, the 'Strouse Steam Carriage Company', had fallen off drastically after the introduction of the electric self-starter for gasoline powered cars. The barn had been converted to a machine shop and assembly area where Ben and several employees had once produced 10 to 15 custom-built luxury steam cars a year. Stuart was thrilled to have access to the well-maintained machinery in the converted barn, where he planned to work on his own projects. He was particularly anxious to get to work on his planned Space Plane - but there was a lot of prep work required before that. For one thing, he needed a lot of exotic materials. For another, he needed a supply of nearly infinite power. His latest invention, the nucleo-synthesizer, would help him with both needs. "The next vehicle produced here will be a big step up from the steam cars Strouse built," Stuart boasted quietly. "Within a couple of years, we'll have a Space Plane capable of interplanetary travel!" Marie responded thoughtfully, "We're fortunate that industries are willing to invest in our patents; they are making us rich. It's a shame that there are so many stubborn, pig-headed morons in academia." (Stuart probably used more colorful language in his own thoughts.) Out loud, Marie continued, "It's ironic that it was your patent for the electric self-starter that led to Ben Strouse retiring and selling us this property. But when we met him, he seemed happy to retire early and sell." Then she changed the subject and continued, more enthusiastically, "We should tour the planets in order, starting with Mercury! I hope your nucleo-synthesizer can produce materials that can withstand the heat of being that close to the sun!" "I am definitely going to need a variety of exotic materials for the Space Plane," Stuart agreed. "But even before that, I'm going to need a new type of power supply that can deliver more power than anything extant. So I guess my first step will be to build a new nucleo-synthesizer, then create the revolutionary power supply, then create the materials, and finally, put them all together!" The nucleo-synthesizer was one of Stuart's controversial discoveries that had been criticized and rejected by the scientific community. It could break down atoms to release stored energy and then use that same energy to create new elements and compounds from the dissembled atoms. Stuart had carefully dismantled his prototype and removed his plans and notes before leaving Hamilton University. With his new nucleo-synthesizer, he planned to create a new metal that would deliver virtually infinite power, then the exotic materials and advanced super strong metal alloys needed to build his revolutionary Space Plane! "The first load of electronic equipment is being delivered today!" Stuart exclaimed excitedly. "If all goes well, I'll have the new nucleo-synthesizer ready by Friday!" Marie smiled knowingly; she knew Stuart had a knack for making his own luck. All Elements Metal
As soon as the nucleo-synthesizer was finished, Stuart worked tirelessly to create a new metallic material he called All Elements Metal, or Alel Metal. If his theory was correct - and he knew it was! - Alel Metal would convert solar energy into a new form of power, a virtually infinite source he was calling sunergy! Utilizing the latest punch card control technology, Stuart's new model nucleo-synthesizer was faster and more efficient than ever before, capable of automating most of the complex steps in the process. Late into the night, Stuart meticulously worked out the precise sequences needed for the machine to successfully create Alel Metal. He then sat hunched over his card punch machine to convert his English-language process into the language of punched holes that the machine could understand. He referred to his notes and periodically cursed loudly whenever he made an error. Eventually, he produced a thick deck of cards that would guide the nucleo-synthesizer through its entire operation. With a sense of satisfaction, Stuart placed the stack of cards into the card feeder on the nucleo-synthesizer and turned it on before heading home for dinner. "The process requires atoms of every element to be combined, including elements 86 through 92 which I discovered, even though the pig-headed morons refuse to acknowledge the very existence of these elements. Following the instructions on the punch cards, the nucleo-synthesizer will first create minuscule amounts of each element before fusing them together to form a sample of Alel Metal - a metal that has the potential to revolutionize our world!" He stopped and looked at his watch. "It should be done shortly after lunch tomorrow… and the world will never be the same!” He turned back to his wife and continued excitedly. "I probably won't get any sleep tonight! Anyway, the first sample will be small, about the size of a BB, but it will immediately start absorbing and storing solar energy, converting it into what I call sunergy - an unlimited source of power with endless possibilities. This tiny sample could power our Space Plane for a millennium; just imagine what larger quantities will do! The limitless power of Alel Metal will usher in a new era of progress and prosperity, a virtual utopia for mankind finally within our reach!” *** Stuart Blake’s angry voice echoed thunderously in his empty lab. "Today is the day I will silence all of my doubters! The so-called experts who dismissed my groundbreaking work as mere fantasy, the close-minded fools in the physics department who stripped me of my position as professor! And everyone else who dared to question my genius!" He paused dramatically, then slammed closed a large knife switch. For an instant the lights in the lab flickered, and then the machine responded with a powerful humming, and then a green light bulb flashed on and the humming stopped. "Success!" He declared triumphantly. "I have created the first sample of All Element Metal - soon to be known as Alel Metal throughout the entire world!" Pulling open a lead-lined drawer on the side of the nucleo-synthesizer, he retrieved a small cube also made of lead and held it up with pride. "Inside, a tiny sample of Alel Metal, no larger than a BB, but already it is absorbing solar energy and converting it into a new form of radiation that can only be blocked by lead - a force I name 'Sunergy'!" His voice grew more intense as he spoke. "This discovery will revolutionize our world - curing sickness, feeding the hungry, and sheltering the homeless with its unlimited power!" He paused for a moment, then added with determination, "And those who doubted me will be forced to swallow their words." He turned to another device, a tall narrow box on wheels with a tube similar to a telescope mounted on a swivel on top the box that could be used to aim a beam of sunergy radiation. He opened a compartment just above the swivel mechanism and inserted the small lead box into a matching holder. After it snapped into place, Stuart carefully closed the lead door of the lead-lined compartment and smiled in satisfaction. He wheeled the device into another room, which contained a caged orangutan. “I’ve done it, Joey! You’ll be cured in seconds!” he enthusiastically greeted the poor beast, who was huddled miserably on a heap of cushions, as comfortable as Stuart had been able to make him. “A brief exposure to Sunergy radiation will erase your cancer and cure every disease those bastards ever infected you with! You’ll be as healthy as the day you were born! I've already started making arrangements to send you back to Africa!" Joey was decrepit and emaciated – Stuart had sneaked onto the Hamilton University campus recently and rescued him from the biological research department, where he’d been a research subject for years. Most recently, they had managed to induce cancer – and then when they had learned what little they could, had scheduled him for euthanasia. As Joey grabbed the bars of his cage and struggled to his feet, Stuart pointed the tube at the poor ape and pressed a button that opened a tiny portal in the lead cube, exposing the Alel Metal sample, which released a tiny burst of synergy radiation at Joey. But before he could fully process what was happening, a blinding flash of light erupted from the tube and engulfed the entire room with a glare as bright as a nearby lightning strike. Stuart stumbled back in shock, shielding his eyes as his surroundings were blindingly illuminated by an eerie yellow-greenish glow. The portal instantly snapped shut and the light faded, leaving him temporarily blinded. Still shaky from the shock, he cautiously lowered his arm, slowly turned to face the cage, and peered expectantly through the dazzle. What he saw made him reel in horror. In that instant of exposure to the eerie glow, the once-sickly orangutan had been completely disintegrated into a smoking cinder. Stuart crumbled to the floor, aghast from the terrifying sight he had just witnessed. He tried to move, but he was paralyzed by shock, curled up in a trembling heap for what felt like an eternity until the sound of the ringing phone cut through his quiet moans. With great effort, he dragged himself towards the phone and lifted the receiver to his ear, gasping out a weak "Hello." The voice on the other end sent shivers down his spine, causing him to freeze even more. It was Marie, calling from their house just next door, and her words caused his heart to race - "Honey, it's time!" Time to rush to the hospital so she could give birth to their child. Stuart fought against his shaking limbs and willed himself to stand, determined to gather his strength for this significant moment.
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Post by dans on Jun 23, 2024 20:23:26 GMT
The Ballad of the Blakes Introducing... Atom Blake!
With adrenaline pumping through his veins, Stuart rushed his wife to the hospital delivery room. He pushed aside his exhaustion, recent failures, and thoughts of Joey the orangutan's tragic fate, solely focused on getting her there safely. Although fear and uncertainty lingered in the back of his mind, he refused to let it dampen the joy and hope of this urgent moment. The doctor was confident that Marie would have an easy delivery - she was young, healthy, and her pregnancy had been normal. As Stuart settled into the waiting room, a nurse summoned him to the desk to receive an important long distance phone call. It was his business agent Liberto Lawson, with fantastic news! "I just heard back from the War Department! They've purchased the manufacturing rights to your underwater sound detection device - they are going to call it Sonar, by the way - for $250,000, and will be putting it into manufacture right away, with us receiving royalties for every unit installed - and they plan to equip every ship in the Navy! And Sears bought the rights to Marie's pop-up toaster patent for another 50 large! We're getting richer every day, Stu. Pretty soon I'll be able to retire!" Stuart was still holding the phone, taking it all in, when another nurse approached him with even better news. "Mr. Blake? It's a health baby boy! You'll be able to see them in about 20 minutes, after we move Mrs. Blake and your son to a private room." What could be better than this? A son - they had already agreed to name him Atom - and increasing wealth? The excitement of being a new parent to their first child, a son, and the jovial welcome messages from all their friends lifted Stuart's spirits, and for a moment, he forgot about his recent failures and felt optimistic and enthusiastic about the future once again. He already had the last laugh at the academic community - he was well on his way to being one of the richest men in the world, regardless of their disdain for his discoveries in physics! When he got home, he'd focus on the Space Plane - and pretty soon he'd be the first man to set foot on another planet! Eureka!
Stuart shifted his focus from Alel Metal to fabricating new and stronger metals and ceramics for the rockets and hull using his nucleo-synthesizer, and between the great progress he was making, and the joy of raising a new son, he was usually upbeat and happy. But one night he returned from the lab and found Marie sitting upright against the head of the bed, waiting for him. She quickly realized he was somewhat depressed. "What's the matter, Stuart? Tell me!” she whispered. “But quietly, don't wake Atom up, I just got him to sleep!" "I've been using the nucleo-synthesizer all day - and I couldn't help but remember poor Joey. And that reminded me that I need to do something to secure the sample of Alel Metal - it is the single most deadly thing on the planet today. Just imagine if someone other then I got hold of it and used it as a death ray!" He paused for an instant, and his face drooped in sadness and his voice was filled with regret. "Poor Joey..." Marie's voice was gentle but urgent as she spoke, trying to ease the sharp pain of guilt that etched lines on Stuart's face. Her words tumbled out rapidly. “Dear, you know that Joey was truly miserable, suffering from that deadly cancer induced by the biological research studies he had been subjected to. And before that, he had endured countless other experiments, most of them painful. You were able to give him the gift of instant release from his agony and suffering. Please try to hold onto that thought and let go of this one." Her hand rested lightly on his shoulder, offering comfort and reassurance. Then her voice lightened. "I've been thinking..." Marie had been a graduate student working towards her masters in biology when she had started working as Stuart's lab assistant to help cover her tuition, and she was as brilliant in her field as he was in his. Now she posed a simple yet crucial question: "You fed the nucleo-synthesizer a pile of punch cards, and you made some of the cards with a duplicator, right? What would have happened if somehow you gave it an extra card? So it added something extra to the mix? Could that be the fly in the ointment?" Stuart's jaw fell open in shock, as if a bolt of lighting had struck him. His features went slack with surprise, then hardened into an expression of intense focus. Then his eyes opened wide, a look of pure ecstasy crossed his face, and he exclaimed, "You are an absolute GENIUS, my dear!" and hopped up from his seat to wrap her in a happy hug! “If I gave it one extra card, and the process automatically created element 93 because of the extra card, and then added that unexpected element to all the others... well, hold on..." He grabbed his slide rule and stood with his head down, his fingers flying, muttering as he worked. His fingers stopped, and he looked up, his eyes practically glowing with excitement. "Eureka!!! Now we’re cooking with GAS! I'll need to work out the fine details and fix the decimal points, but to the first approximation, it seems that the inclusion of element 93 in All Elements Metal raised the efficiency of converting solar energy to sunergy radiation by a staggering factor of approximately 10 to the 5th! Did I say that little BB was deadly before? No wonder Joey was vaporized. Why, If I'd dropped that box and it broke open, I could have destroyed half the population of New York City!" Marie could see that he was eager to race off to the lab to put his new theory to the test. “I can tend Atom just fine. So, you go rework your calculations - and figure out a way to make sunergy safe!” She smiled as he raced for the door - even though it was the middle of the night! Inflection Point"I'm so excited to go to the lab again, even if I'm not going back to work!" Marie could barely contain her excitement as they walked out of their house towards his laboratory. She was carrying young Atom. "Tell me everything! "I've taken precautions to lessen the danger of the existing sunergy sample, which is perhaps the most deadly and dangerous thing in the world today!" he started off. "I very carefully shaved a tiny fragment off the original pellet for use in my experiments, and then created a safe place to store and protect the larger sample." He didn't tell her exactly where that safe place was - a small chamber behind the signet on the Hamilton University class ring he was wearing. He had used the nucleo-synthesizer to turn the gold ring into a lead-gold alloy that shielded it even more perfectly than the lead box had. "I’ve installed the smaller fragment into my projector, and built in attenuating filters to cut down the power of the sunergy. That tiny fragment will power the projector for about a year before it decays to uselessness; the BB will decay much more gradually; even 500 years from now, it will continue to emit sunergy power but the intensity will have fallen into the safe range." As the entered the building, he continued to describe his progress. “With the attenuating filters in, the beam is finally lowered to a safe intensity, so I can finally test the beneficial effects our theory predicts." Followed by an instant of silent musing... "It's still not as safe as I would like. Removing the filters would make it back into a death ray. Maybe if I make an alloy of Alel and lead I could do away with the filters?" Speculation for another time; he quickly returned his attention to his wife and child. He paused to open the door to the 'projector room', which now included several potted plants and a cage with a couple of lab rats Stuart planned to irradiate to test the safety and effects of the attenuated sunergy. Theoretically exposure would make the plants and rats healthier, but he hadn't verified that yet. He held the door and Marie, still carrying Atom, stepped inside - into disaster! There was a puddle of soapy water on the floor; Marie screamed as she slipped and fell, still grasping Atom tightly. She crashed into the leaky floor washing machine the janitor had accidentally left in the room, which ripped off the ratty power cord, which was still plugged into the wall. Atom had just started to wail when the cord dropped into the puddle and both mother and child were jolted with electricity - which caused Marie's muscles to spasm, throwing her out of the puddle - and instantly Marie and Atom were both silent. Stuart hands shook as he frantically examined them closely - both had charred skin in a number of places and neither was breathing! His heart raced with dread - he had to save them! Almost without thinking, he pressed the button that activated the sunergy projector. The filtered ray was still brilliant, a surprisingly beautiful blue color. He was about to swing the beam to bear on his wife and son when he belatedly remembered that he had yet to test it with the filter, so he quickly spun it over the plants and mice, hoping they would serve as a suitable ‘parakeet in the mine’ for this untested technology. Seeing that the test subjects still survived, he swung the projector until it illuminated the two, held it for 10 seconds, and turned it off. He rushed to examine them, his heart pounding. He let out a shaky sigh of relief when he saw that their burns were healed and they were both breathing again. One of the effects he and Marie had predicted in their theory of sunergy was that it would induce healing and health. The filtered sunergy beam seemed to be acting exactly as they had predicted! "You know, according to our theory, repeated exposure to attenuated sunergy - our healing ray - will have additional beneficial effects on a human infant. He will develop superior abilities - he'll be stronger, healthier, and smarter than other children. And the biggest benefit - once he has developed a tolerance for the attenuated rays, one final exposure to the full power of sunergy will give him super vitality - make him super human!" "It is thrilling to think that Atom might develop unprecedented abilities, dear - I've always hoped for an exceptional child! But giving him super powers as a baby is a really bad idea, Stuart," Marie said sharply. "He won't know how to control them, and an angry superbaby could do a LOT of damage. So... let's give him the attenuated exposures until he has developed full tolerance, and we'll raise a remarkable son - and then, when he is old enough to make a wise decision, say, in his mid teens, we'll let him decide if he wants full powers or not!" Into the Blue!"Today, in a grand ceremony filled with anticipation and excitement, we gather to name this magnificent lady of the sky and space: Inspiration, and send her off into the great unknown. With hearts full of hope and determination, we ask the spirits of all fliers past and present to bless Inspiration on her journey, guiding her safely through her passages as she carries the Blake family: Stuart, Marie, and Atom, who will care for her just as she will care for them." With excitement coursing through her veins as she spoke, Marie stole a glance at Stuart, standing stoically beside her. His expression was unreadable as he gazed upon their creation. Taking a deep breath, Marie raised the bottle of champaign she was holding high above her head, feeling its weight in her hand. With one swift motion, she brought it crashing down against the sleek nose of the Space Plane, now named Inspiration, shattering the glass in a celebratory explosion. As the echoes faded away, Marie couldn't contain her adrenaline-fueled joy. This was the moment they had been working towards - leaving behind Earth's boundaries and venturing into outer space. It had taken Stuart over a year of dedicated effort to complete his masterpiece. With his advanced punch card automation controls and access to a full machine shop, he meticulously crafted every detail of the Space Plane himself. To speed up the process, he had purchased a discarded airship gondola from the Connecticut Aircraft Company of nearby New Haven, Connecticut, and coated it with a super durable ceramic he had created using the nucleo-synthesizer. The rest of the Inspiration was assembled around this improved gondola, utilizing materials and alloys also created by Stuart's synthesizer. Meanwhile, Marie had been in charge of designing the interior - from the flight compartment to living quarters - as well as stocking up on essential supplies. Unlike the clunky airplanes of its time, the completed Space Plane boasted a sleek triangular wing with the sturdy, ultra-tough gondola sitting atop it. Multiple rocket nozzles protruded from the back of the plane, fueled by Stuart's top-secret high-powered rocket fuel and powered by a continuous beam of attenuated sunergy. And in case of low fuel, the Space Plane was equipped with a special purpose nucleo-synthesizer that could convert almost any material into fuel - even waste produced by the family or the of other planets! In preparation for their journey, Stuart had purchased and modified several deep-sea diving suits to function in outer space, complete with compressed air tanks. He even designed a customized suit and small airtight baby buggy for Atom, their young son. Every possible contingency was addressed by these certified geniuses. During the past year, Atom had undergone his course of sunergy treatment, which had increased his strength and intellect far beyond those of an average infant. As he grew older, these advantages would only continue to develop - and would be bumped to truly superhuman levels in his teen years if he chooses to undergo the final treatment. With genius parents and their remarkable son by their side, the Blake family was now ready for their great adventure through the vast expanse of space.
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Post by dans on Jun 25, 2024 13:39:03 GMT
The Ballad of the Blakes Lunar InsanityThe Inspiration was completing its third orbit around the moon. Marie and Stuart were in the control room, their heads close to the thick glass windows surrounding them as they avidly examined the surface passing beneath them. In the living quarters, Atom floated effortlessly in the zero-gravity playroom that Marie had meticulously designed. His laughter echoed through the ship's corridors. "Can we touch down in that small valley on the far side where we spotted what appear to be structures?" Marie asked eagerly, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I just hope it’s not somebody from Earth who got here before us in secret. Just think - we might be humanity's first contact with an alien race!" "I'm hesitant about that," Stuart replied cautiously. The thought of encountering extraterrestrial beings made him uneasy. "If Atom wasn't with us, I would eagerly jump at the opportunity to meet representatives of a different civilization - but they may not be welcoming." "I hadn't considered that," she agreed thoughtfully. "Atom's safety comes first! Perhaps we shouldn't land on the Moon at all and just continue on to Mercury. Do we have enough fuel to reach it?" Stuart pondered for a moment. "We have more than enough - but it wouldn't hurt to top up just in case. What about in the middle of that vast flat plain we flew over?” he suggested. “We should be able to spot anyone approaching and take off before they get close." A mischievous grin spread across his face as he added, "Plus, I've always been curious about experiencing one sixth gravity - and I've had my fill of zero gravity for now!" Marie nodded in agreement. "Same here, although Atom absolutely loves it! And he adores his playroom!" "You did an excellent job designing it," Stuart praised her. "A spherical room with padded walls and no sharp edges - he can bounce around all he wants without any worry! And we all had a blast playing 'bounce tag' together!" As the Inspiration descended towards the plain near the terminator on the far side of the moon, a nagging feeling of unease settled over Stuart. Though the structures they had flown over were thousands of miles away and his curiosity and desire for discovery pushed him forward, a faint warning still echoed in his mind. He couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling as they prepared to land on the unfamiliar terrain. Unknown to the Blakes, the orbiting Inspiration was being closely tracked by the beings inhabiting those distant structures. These beings were from a species known as the Umbrans, hailing from the dark side of Mercury. Back on Mercury, the Umbrans were in the midst of a fierce war with the Il'un, who resided in caverns deep beneath the scorching sun side of Mercury. The Umbrans had established their base on the Moon in order to spy on Earth, searching for any human technology that could aid in the war against the Il’un. Their mission was to obtain advanced human weapons and return them to Mercury - by whatever means they deemed necessary. Stuart, Marie, and Atom stepped out of the airlock of Inspiration onto the wing and shuffled slowly to the edge, anchored to the wing by magnets in their boots. Then Stuart stepped down to the lunar surface - the first human on another planet! He helped Marie down, and the family quickly took advantage of the weak lunar gravity to make tremendous leaps and bounds, rising high over the plain and then falling slowly back to the surface. They marveled at the vast expanse of grey desolation around them, contrasting with the shining Sun just above the horizon. Atom couldn't contain himself and began bouncing and somersaulting through the void. Stuart and Marie couldn't help but laugh as they watched their son revel in this new environment, his joyous laughter echoing through the helmet radios against the silent backdrop of the Moon. Stuart's mind was struck by a bolt of terror, a piercing premonition of imminent danger. He snapped his head up in shock and saw a deadly missile streaking towards them from the direction of the lunar structures in the distant valley they had avoided, leaving behind it a long finger of smoke. He froze for a single instant - and in that instant, Marie saw the incoming missile and leaped into action, launching herself towards the missile, her determination and bravery fueling her flight towards certain death. In the reduced gravity she soared high above the plain, and the path of the missile curved to meet her. Stuart stood frozen in disbelief as he watched his wife soar upwards with her arms outstretched to intercept the deadly projectile hurtling towards them. Her bravery was awe-inspiring, but he knew she had leaped to her death. The missile exploded just as Marie reached it, sending shrapnel flying in all directions. Stuart could only gasp and cover his face protectively as he felt pieces of debris striking him. He watched in horror as Marie's body fell slowly back down towards the moon's surface with a trail of vapor bleeding from her torn spacesuit behind her. Atom had not seen the impact, but the flash of the explosion caught his attention and he watched in silence as Stuart ran towards the torn and tattered spacesuit that held Marie's remains. Tears streamed down Stuart's face as he reached her and saw instantly that there was nothing he could do to save her. His heart shattered into a million pieces at the loss of his beloved wife, and he could feel his sanity shatter as well! Rage and sorrow coiled together within him, fueling a burning desire for retribution. He spun around, shaking his fist at the sky where the missile had originated from. "I will make whoever did this pay for taking my wife's life! I vow upon my own life - whatever it takes!" His voice echoed across the desolate lunar landscape, but he soon fell silent as a larger rocket came into view, moving much more slowly towards them. Stuart's heart pounded with realization - this was the crew responsible for Marie's death and they were coming for him and Atom next! A manic grin twisted his tear-stained face as he retrieved Atom and jumped back to their ship. Without hesitation, he flew through the airlock and set Atom down, speaking roughly to him. "Your mother is gone, Atom. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but it's all I can think of right now! There's things I need to do, that I don't want you to have to see!" Atom started to struggle in confusion as Stuart dragged him to the infirmary and placed him under the healing ray without even removing his spacesuit. "I pray things will be better when you wake up," Stuart muttered before adjusting a knob on the machine, sending a blue beam of sunergy over Atom and causing him to fall into a deep sleep. "And now for the killers!" Stuart's eyes blazed with unbridled hatred as he opened a panel on the side of the healing ray and ripped out the attenuating filter assembly that had made it safe to use. With one swift motion, he yanked off the heavy lead cylinder that housed the full power of sunergy - a weapon too massive for Earth's gravity but easily wielded on the moon. "They will face justice in its most deadly form!" He raced to Inspiration’s control room, aimed the cylinder through the reinforced glass and activated the control that released the powerful sunergy ray. His spacesuit's visor quickly darkened to shield his eyes from the blinding light, and he laughed maniacally, shouting "Die, you monsters, DIE!!" as he swept the beam across the approaching ship. As it shuddered and changed course, he watched as it crashed into the lunar surface in slow motion and laughed once more. “Your final judgement is… Death!” CaptiveThe jagged edges of the wrecked alien ship's hull were crumpled and twisted, but still largely intact. It had been approaching slowly, and had fallen only a short distance under the weak lunar gravity and now was nothing more than an exotic junkheap in a small crater. Stuart approached cautiously, his sunergy projector at the ready, already adjusted to easily cut through the metal hull. With a vicious, victorious laugh, he entered the ship to find the crew dead - killed by his own weapon and frozen in grotesque positions when the ruptured hull had let in the deadly cold of space. "Hope your version of Hell is even colder," Stuart sneered at the dead bodies. They were humanoid in shape, but somewhat larger than humans with green skin and no hair. Their elongated heads resembled a strange mix of horse and lizard, adorned with sharp fangs. "You may be big,, but you're just plain ugly," Stuart taunted them. "Or should I say, you were ugly? You won't be killing any more innocent victims, at least; your reign of terror is over. Wonder if you've got any friends back at the ranch? If so, they won't be alive much longer either!" *** Hours later, Stuart cautiously piloted the Inspiration low above the lunar terrain towards the valley where the aliens had established their base. He wanted to catch them off guard before they could escape or mount a defense or a further attack. Finally he was as close as he judged was safe - he'd have to go the rest of the way in his space suit. But before he suited up, he checked on Atom who was still sleeping soundly in the padded zero gravity room. Thanks to the settings he had changed on the sunergy projector, Atom would remain asleep for a week. Stuart planned to take him back to Earth before he woke up, but first he wanted to ensure his revenge was complete - no survivors left to harm innocent victims like Marie again. In the low gravity environment, Stuart felt powerful and agile as he leapt over obstacles and scaled cliffs effortlessly. "This is what Atom will experience every day if he chooses to complete the sunergy program," he thought triumphantly. As he neared the rim of the valley, there was no sign of activity outside any of the alien structures. Most of them were dark and abandoned-looking except for one that was near an area marked by charred and blackened ground. "That's where they landed... looks like they only had the one rocket - I wonder if the whole crew was aboard?" After an hour of careful observation from outside, Stuart was sure that the small base must be deserted. Eventually reaching an airlock, he found it surprisingly easy to open with a simple touch of a button. As he cautiously made his way through the interconnected structures, he found no signs of life. It really seemed that the entire crew had been on the crashed rocket. As Stuart continued exploring the alien complex, he made an unexpected discovery - a locked compartment containing a bars that held a prisoner inside. He instantly raised his weapon to blast the being before it could attack him, but instead the being squealed with anger and pressed desperately against the bars in a hopeless attempt to escape. Seeing a being in a cage in front of this sunergy projector reminded Stuart instantly of Joey - and he fell to the floor in horror of what he had almost done - slaughtered yet another innocent with one of his inventions, and invention that was meant to lead the world to a utopia. He shuddered and trembled for several minutes. During that time, the being seemed to at least partially overcome his fear, and he approached the front of the cage and watched Stuart with cautious curiosity. Finally Stuart recovered enough to return the prisoner's appraising stare. This being was unlike any he had encountered before; not human or humanoid, and certainly not a member of the hostile race that had killed his wife. The creature was a uniform gray, stood at about 4 and a half feet tall on two hind legs with 4 more legs acting as arms, its long narrow triangular wings folded neatly against its back. It had a long, flat face with two antennae protruding from the top and eyes the size of oval-shaped saucers. When the being realized that Stuart was not one of its former captors, the creature emitted a series of high-pitched chitters. "Ah, you're trying to talk to me? Let's see if I can help," Stuart remarked. He reached into a pouch on his space suit and pulled out the filter assembly that had once transformed the powerful sunergy death ray into a healing beam. He examined the filters closely, and after some thought, arranged them in a new sequence. After inserting them back into the compartment on the death ray tube he carried, Stuart laid it on the floor, pointed towards the cage where the being was trapped. The creature screeched in fear and once again pressed frantically against the bars in the rear of the cage. "Don't worry, this won't hurt you," Stuart spoke reassuringly as he activated the beam. "In fact, I’ll join you!” As the brilliant beam washed over the prisoner, Stuart also stepped into the beam, and for an instant, both he and the prisoner were engulfed in the luminous blue light. As the light faded, Stuart felt a rush of exhilaration and clarity wash over his mind, making it feel larger and more expansive than ever before. He scrambled to make sense of his thoughts and then came to a stunning realization: "Each time I've worked with Alel Metal, I must have inadvertently received tiny doses of sunergy radiation - and each time, those doses have affected my mind! This stronger exposure must have accelerated the changes!" But before he could fully process this revelation, his attention was drawn back to the being in the cage who had shuffled forward in curiosity. Pushing aside his incredulity at what had just occurred, Stuart focused on the practical matters at hand - like still being inside the enemy camp and facing First Contact with an alien race. Turning to address the being once again, Stuart spoke confidently. "Well, at least _ I_ feel smarter now. And if it worked on you as well, you should be able to understand English now." "By Jove, it's a miracle!" exclaimed the insect-like being in stunned amazement, his oval eyes widening in surprise. His voice was high and squeaky and his words were occasionally interrupted by his mandibles clattering together - but Stuart could understand him! After Stuart again reconfigured the sunergy projector to slice through the bars of the cage, the pair eagerly exchanged stories.
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Post by dans on Jun 26, 2024 16:12:01 GMT
The Ballad of the Blakes Not Thinking Well
The ex-captive introduced himself as Dragonet Claret, former War Leader of the Il'un, a species that that dwelled deep within caverns on the sun side of Mercury, who were fighting a brutal war of extinction started by the Umbrans, who lived on the night side of Mercury.
"I was captured by the Umbrans. They sent me with their spy expedition and have been torturing me whenever they learn of a new human weapon, trying to get me to evaluate how effective each weapon would be against Il'un defenses!" Despite his best efforts to conceal it, even in his squeaky, clattering voice, the agony of his ongoing torture seeped into his words. "We are losing the war, Stuart Blake," he pleaded. "The Umbran plan to annihilate us completely. Your weapon can turn the tide for us. Please come to Mercury and aid us!"
Still enraged over the the death of his wife, Stuart immediately agreed. "Those vile Umbran scum deserve the worst we can deliver! We can leave right away!" he declared, his eyes flashing with anger.
Unfortunately there were no space suits left in the alien base. "Looks like we'll have to improvise," Stuart said. "You should be able to squeeze into the airtight baby buggy from my ship. I’ll go back and fly her here and land close by. I should be back in a couple of hours!”
As Stuart trudged on his solitary trek across the starkly lit lunar surface back to the Inspiration, he was alone with his tumultuous thoughts. He couldn't stop questioning the choices he had made since losing Marie: using his invention as a deadly weapon against the Umbrans, something that went against everything he believed in both scientifically and morally; putting his beloved son Atom into an artificially induced sleep with the same invention; blindly agreeing to join a war without fully comprehending its complexities and consequences or even being sure he was on the right side; recklessly agreeing to bring his innocent infant into a volatile war zone. As he continued his trek, he couldn't help but wonder if the sunergy exposure during their language learning process had somehow fused their minds together, subconsciously influencing him with Il'un's ruthless and militaristic mentality. Could he still trust his own judgement anymore?
He considered that long and hard. There must be a way to aid the Il'uns while protecting Atom and not using his invention for destructive purposes any longer.Stuart's AnswerIn the middle of the night, the Inspiration touched down quietly on the secluded Blake property north of Greenwich, Ct. One of the passengers, Claret, was from Mercury where gravity was only a third of that on Earth, and he was unable to move from his heavily padded bunk. Stuart, carrying Atom, who was still asleep, and his new passenger easily debarked. "OK, Ivan - it's all yours - the house, the land, the cars in the garage, the workshop where I built the Inspiration - even the blueprints, schematics, and plans. Your dream is in sight! All you have to do is deliver Atom and the package to the Pages today, along with this note explaining things to them." Ivan Scrivener was a tall, thin, unkempt and eccentric man who 'bounced' when he walked, known for his reclusive and withdrawn nature. When he and Stuart were graduate students together at Hamilton University, it was rumored that he survived primarily on soda laced with cocaine and salt and cheese crackers, with a penchant for falling asleep over homemade hard apple cider. Despite his quirks, he and Stuart had become fast friends, and Stuart knew he could trust Ivan with his life. Or his son. However strange he may have been, Ivan had always been passionate about science and would often boast enthusiastically to anyone who would listen that one day he would build a spaceship that would make him famous. Stuart was about to help him make good on his boasts. "I'll be back soon, son," Stuart whispered to Atom as he kissed his forehead. "The Pages will take good care of you while I'm gone." Stuart and Marie had been best friends with Joe and Nora Page since they had all been undergraduates in college together. He hadn't seen them for a couple of years, but the last time they had exchanged letters, Joe and Nora had made a devastating announcement - they were infertile and would never be able to have children. They hoped to eventually adopt, but they needed time to process their grief first. Stuart and Marie had been equally heartbroken for their friends. "I've never met anyone who I think would make better parents than they," she had said more than once. "Just remember to keep your extraordinary abilities hidden so you can blend in." Although Atom was fast asleep and wouldn't understand, Stuart spoke fervently anyway. "And if I don't return, remember to look for me on Mercury!" With a heavy heart, Stuart handed Atom over to Ivan and quickly made his way back into the Inspiration. Little did he know that it would be literally millions of years before he would see his son again. Ivan, on the other hand, had his moment of fame much sooner than millions of years. In 1933 he announced his rocket to the world and basked in the fame he received. But his basking was short-lived… a rum running mob boss named Scarface Louie Adwahl was going broke after the end of Prohibition, and to escape the law, Louie and his gang stole the ship and escaped from Earth! *** As they approached Mercury, Claret once again pleaded with Stuart to reconsider his plans. But Stuart's conviction remained unshaken. "I will not allow my inventions to be used for destruction ever again," he declared with fervor. "The sunergy projector will only function as a healing ray until the Alel Metal powering it decays, which I believe will happen within a few months. This way, you can heal your injured soldiers and they can return to battle quickly. From what you've told me, that should give you enough of an advantage to turn the tide of the war." He paused for emphasis, and delivered a warning. "I have destroyed the device used to create Alel Metal, so when the healing ray stops working, your army will have to rely on their own resources." He purposely left out any mention of the small fragment of Alel Metal hidden in the signet ring he had left for Atom, along with a secret message inscribed inside the ring. There was a chance he might never return to Earth; in that case, Stuart was confident that Atom would use the ring's power wisely when he grew older. But no one else would abuse sunergy as long as Stuart could prevent it! Claret could only shrug; he had repeatedly argued for using the sunergy projector as a death ray to eliminate the Umbrans, but to no avail; Stuart remained steadfast. At least the capability of instantly healing the wounded gave the Il'un a strong chance at victory in the war. *** "Thank you for joining our celebration, my friend!" the War Leader spoke in his chittering voice. "The Il'un are honored. Your healing ray was a major factor in our victory, and you will forever be a hero to my people!" Stuart was fascinated by the mysterious Wall and asked his host a dozen questions about it - but the Il'un knew little about it. "The Wall of Flame Eternal has existed unchanged since the earliest mentions of it in our history," Claret replied. "None know how it came to be; none know how it is sustained, thought endless theories about. The Wall is sacred to our people. None ever approach it any longer - Legends say that long ago, many brave Il-uns walked into the flames, seemingly unharmed and unaffected - but none have ever returned." Lost in thought and fascination, Stuart barely paid attention to the brief Ceremony of Victory that followed their arrival. Instead, he fixated on the Wall, feeling inexplicably drawn to it. When the ceremony concluded, he turned eagerly to Claret. "My friend, I must know more about this Wall. From what I've observed, it holds far greater secrets than we can imagine. I believe it is a gateway through time itself. May I approach it more closely?" "Certainly, but please do not attempt to pass through it. Though it is not forbidden, the Il'un would be sad to lose you forever." "Don't worry, I'll be back!" Stuart yelled confidently as he raced forward, his human strength granting him almost super speed in the light gravity of Mercury. He leaped into the air and sailed into the wall as if he were flying, and vanished. Despite his confidence, none of the Il'un ever saw him again. EpilogueStuart's story continues in the 1940/41 Fawcett Comics series "Atom Blake, Boy Wizard" in WOW Comics #1 - #5, which tells some of the story of the teenaged Atom Blake, and his search for his father. Below is a quick synopsis of the first few adventures, but for more details you should look up WOW Comics on your favorite online Web site (some links below if you don't have a favorite yet...) Atom Blake was the main character in the series "Atom Blake, Boy Wizard", running in WOW Comics #1 through #5, published quarterly from January 1940 through January 1941. The series picked up as the Page family and their adopted son Atom moved into Collegetown PA and Atom began attending Lincoln High School, probably as a junior or senior. Although Atom was aware that he was an exceptional young man, both physically and mentally, he had always hidden his abilities in order to fit in, and even the Pages were not aware of Atom's hidden abilities. After helping Dusty, another Lincoln High student who was being bullied, Atom revealed to Dusty that he had exceptional abilities, and Dusty asked him for more information. This made Atom curious, and that night he asked Joe and Nora "Who was my real father? How did I come to be living with you people?" Joe gave Atom the packet of papers Stuart had sent to him back in 1925. In the packet, Stuart revealed some of Atom's history to him - particularly, how he'd been exposed to small doses of a mysterious energy called sunergy that gave him his hidden powers and that if he were ever exposed to a 'direct treatment', he would gain even mightier powers, but he had never received that final treatment. The packet also contained a gold signet ring that Atom took to wearing immediately. Later that night, Atom and Dusty were riding their bikes and came upon a bank robbery. Atom attempted to fight the bank robbers, but even as exceptional as he was, the combined efforts of the 8 robbers was enough to overcome him. They took him captive and while he was captive, his signet ring popped open and the pellet of Alel Metal concealed in the ring bathed him with the final, full power synergy treatment. This instantly increased his physical and mental powers, including giving him microscopic vision that allowed him to read Stuart's inscription inside the ring, and super intelligence which let him control the sunergy with mental commands. It also increased his physical prowess to super human levels, though this wasn't really shown right away. After several adventures on Earth, Atom decided to search for his father on Mercury, and he used the power of the ring to fly to Mercury - where he eventually ended up passing through the Wall of Flame Eternal, and reappearing, still on Mercury, millions of years in the future. Will Atom find his father? Read the original stories in WOW Comics to find out. There are a number of internet sites where you can read old comics; two such sites are Comic Book Plus and the Digital Comics Museum.
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Post by dans on Jun 26, 2024 16:12:19 GMT
Done, finished, complete!
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Post by DocQuantum on Jun 26, 2024 17:30:53 GMT
Just started reading this. The first part was very engaging. I can definitely sympathize with Stuart, though there are signs that he could go terribly off the rails if pushed in the wrong direction, similar to Sivana.
Speaking of Sivana, I'm surprised you didn't mention him at all, even in passing. There's a very obvious comparison between Stuart Blake and Sivana that could be made, which you brought up in the discussions, so it would make sense for Dr. Sivana to be mentioned as one of those "quacks" that the Scientific Establishment seeks to keep out of their ranks for being such unorthodox thinkers. You could also mention Nikola Tesla.
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Post by DocQuantum on Jun 26, 2024 18:01:29 GMT
Commenting on the second part. I like how you found a way for Atom Blake to be energized with Sunergy without Stuart looking like a madman who likes to experiment on his own son. An emergency like that makes the most rational sense.
When the chapter moves on to the rocket ship, I think we're missing a transition. Previously, we haven't seen Stuart's interest in rocketry at all, though we have seen him obsessing over the applications of Sunergy. I think some earlier mention of an interest in rocketry is in order. Also, perhaps the creation of The Inspiration could be mentioned as being a direct result of Stuart's application of Sunergy as an infinite energy source. I just think there needs to be some foreshadowing of the rocket and some connectivity with the earlier parts that deal with Sunergy.
Also, the motivation for Stuart's bringing his family into outer space seems to be missing (at least in the second part; I haven't read on yet). I wonder if the Scientific Establishment had been badmouthing him so much that reporters have begun hounding him as a "quack" and as a "complete fraud" who engages in "dangerous experiments" that "risk countless lives"? A public outcry caused by the yellow rag newspapers of the time could have resulted in some very real trouble with federal agents beginning their own investigations of the allegations. All of these might have served as motivation for Stuart Blake wanting to escape the confines of the Earth for the freedom to continue his scientific pursuits. Also, I can't help but see a parallel with Sivana that could be alluded to, since we know Dr. Sivana also left Earth for Venus with his young children for similar reasons.
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Post by DocQuantum on Jun 26, 2024 18:22:22 GMT
Third part comments:
Very engaging storytelling, here. Stuart's dealing with the loss of his wife is understandable, though I worried that his bloodlust might end up with him trying to kill ALL aliens he encounters. Certainly, this wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility for a Golden Age story, but it would make Stuart look more like a villain than a hero. Reminds me a bit of Starship Troopers, with the gung-ho attitude about killing the space bugs.
I do wish there was more detail on the warring aliens and what they are about. We have to assume that the ones who caused Marie's death were evil, but we don't really get that out of the story itself (at least so far).
Also, I think there's got to be some kind of moment of realization that causes Stuart to snap out of his revenge obsession before he meets the insect-like alien whom he befriends, otherwise things could have gone very badly in that scene. I wonder if this scene might work better if Stuart sees yet another alien and is about to attack it, too, when he realizes that doing so would make him a monster, and he snaps out of his brief episode of madness? Just a suggestion.
Finally, the bit about Stuart and family being the first humans to step foot on an alien world isn't exactly true. Dr. Sivana did it first, and I can't help but wonder if Stuart first learned about rocketry from plans left behind by Sivana? In which case he would have known that space travel is possible, and the Sivana and his young kids could have been first to step foot on another world, even if he knew nothing specific after they left Earth. Certainly, there are cases of parallel scientific developments, but it seems more likely to me that Stuart based some of his work on The Inspiration after Sivana's own rocket ship work. Seems like another missed opportunity to compare him favorably with Sivana, too.
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Post by DocQuantum on Jun 26, 2024 18:41:47 GMT
Comments on the fourth & last part:
I'm a bit confused, because the story doesn't make it clear. Who are the Pages in relation to Stuart Blake, anyways? Distant relatives? In-laws? Friends? Acquaintances? How does Stuart know that Atom will be in good hands in their company? It's a fairly minor point, but this seems like this could be better explained.
The story ends very abruptly. You don't have to go much more in depth about the war itself, but it might be nice to learn why they are fighting (apologies if this is explained in an earlier chapter), or be reminded again. You might want to attach an epilogue that hints at Stuart Blake eventually being reunited with his son Atom again, resulting in his being rescued (?) by his son who had by then become a real hero. It could be alluded to without having any major spoilers, but would encourage the readers to read the published adventures of Atom Blake to find out the full story.
Anyway, great story overall! All of my comments are meant as constructive suggestions, and you're free to use them or not use them as you see fit.
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Post by dans on Jun 26, 2024 21:08:53 GMT
The war on Mercury is never mentioned in the original stories; in a way it is sort of a MacGuffin that I introduced. You are correct, when I originally posted I left out a chapter and I think it goes a long way toward explaining the war. Merci beaucoup! In short, the Umbra are evil, the Il'un are the good guys, and Stuart ended the war. That's mostly all I know about the war. But, if you read the Atom story in WOW #3, you will recognize the Umbra, the Il'un, and Claret, though none of them are specifically called by those names in that story. Also, Scarface Louie also reappears in that story! Added this insert about Joe and Nora Page: "I'll be back soon, son," Stuart whispered to Atom as he kissed his forehead. "The Pages will take good care of you while I'm gone." Stuart and Marie had been best friends with Joe and Nora Page since they had all been undergraduates in college together. He hadn't seen them for a couple of years, but the last time they had exchanged letters, Joe and Nora had made a devastating announcement - they were infertile and would never be able to have children. They hoped to eventually adopt, but they needed time to process their grief first. Stuart and Marie had been equally heartbroken for their friends. "I've never met anyone who I think would make better parents than they," she had said more than once. Added an epilogue with a quick recap of the first few Atom Blake stories and a teaser: "Will Atom find his missing father?" Regarding Sivana, I don't have enough grasp of the story of Sivana in that time frame to add him. My feeling is that he was receiving equal disdain from the scientific and academic communities at about that time, so if he knew Stuart they might have had something in common, rather than Sivana being one of the doubters. But I didn't know enough to include him, so I left Sivana out of it. I made a few additions to try to hightligh Stuart and Marie's passion for space flight a bit more, and noted why he needed Alel for infinite power. If I do a rewrite I'll expand on that a little more. When I looked at the scene of Stuart discovering the prisoner, it reminded me of Stuart accidentally disintegrating Joey - and now it reminds Stuart of that horrifying experience as well. A good addition! Do we know when Sivana went to Venus? Does Stuart know? I think Stuart and Marie really believed that they were the first. I'll probably do some more rewriting, but I wanted to get the basic story out there. Thanks for the feedback, I made several updates based on it.
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Post by dans on Jun 26, 2024 21:12:05 GMT
Third part comments: Reminds me a bit of Starship Troopers, with the gung-ho attitude about killing the space bugs. I hated that about the movie. For the most part, one could ignore the director's obvious bias and disdain for Heinlein, but that part, and the throwing knife part, were pretty disgusting and things Heinlein would never have stood for.
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Post by dans on Jun 27, 2024 3:09:38 GMT
Well, phooey! Doc is right, I left out a chapter. Right after Stuart discovers the prisoner. It explains a little bit more about the war on Mercury (not much more, but I think as much as this story needs) and also explains why Stuart actually went to Mercury. Plus it adds a little bit of explanation for his irrational decisions... and with this piece missing, the ending is really much more abrupt... I inserted it into the story in green, bold text. If you have already read the story and don't want to go back to it, the text is below. Or you can click here and re-open that chapter.
The ex-captive introduced himself as Dragonet Claret, former War Leader of the Il'un, a species that that dwelled deep within caverns on the sun side of Mercury, who were fighting a brutal war of extinction started by the Umbrans, who lived on the night side of Mercury. "I was captured by the Umbrans. They sent me with their spy expedition and have been torturing me whenever they learn of a new human weapon, trying to get me to evaluate how effective each weapon would be against Il'un defenses!" Despite his best efforts to conceal it, even in his squeaky, clattering voice, the agony of his ongoing torture seeped into his words. "We are losing the war, Stuart Blake," he pleaded. "The Umbran plan to annihilate us completely. Your weapon can turn the tide for us. Please come to Mercury and aid us!" Still enraged over the the death of his wife, Stuart immediately agreed. "Those vile Umbran scum deserve the worst we can deliver! We can leave right away!" he declared, his eyes flashing with anger. Unfortunately there were no space suits left in the alien base. "Looks like we'll have to improvise," Stuart said. "You should be able to squeeze into the airtight baby buggy from my ship. I’ll go back and fly her here and land close by. I should be back in a couple of hours!” As Stuart trudged on his solitary trek across the starkly lit lunar surface back to the Inspiration, he was alone with his tumultuous thoughts. He couldn't stop questioning the choices he had made since losing Marie: using his invention as a deadly weapon against the Umbrans, something that went against everything he believed in both scientifically and morally; putting his beloved son Atom into an artificially induced sleep with the same invention; blindly agreeing to join a war without fully comprehending its complexities and consequences or even being sure he was on the right side; recklessly agreeing to bring his innocent infant into a volatile war zone. As he continued his trek, he couldn't help but wonder if the sunergy exposure during their language learning process had somehow fused their minds together, subconsciously influencing him with Il'un's ruthless and militaristic mentality. Could he still trust his own judgement anymore? He considered that long and hard. There must be a way to aid the Il'uns while protecting Atom and not using his invention for destructive purposes any longer.
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