Post by redsycorax on Nov 3, 2020 4:42:01 GMT
Yes, it's that annoying Dork Multiverse again. This time, we focus on Earth-293, where a certain Dynamic Duo have fallen into a dimensional hole along with a ferryboat, its captain and passengers.
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"Holy inflammations, Batman! Look at those ghastly bright orange creatures with fake hair! They're horrible!"
Earth-creatures!!! We are the Gruggs, an advanced alien civilisation who find your little beady eyes, unpleasant pink tinge and fetish outfits equally dodgy!!!
"Shut up, annoying twerp sidekick, or it's Bat-Spanky Spoon time!!! Look, you orange alien fiends, why have you abducted us from our world?"
Because we want cheap labour at ununionised rates, what else?
"But you're an advanced civilisation. Why do you need to place humans in alien bondage?"
You're one to talk, pointy ears. We've seen what you get up to using our transdimensional snoopervisionscope. Kinky much?
"Not in front of my youthful ward, thank you!"
"How come you speak perfect English, though?"
It's a lazy plot loophole, what do you think? Batman is right, you are a annoying twerp sidekick.
"How dare you! Why, I bet you want to enslave those humanoid Yllans over in that conveniently adjacent city!"
Oh, right. Just because we have different physiologies from yours, then logically we must be the villains. Xenophobic little himbo.
"Stop that offensive generalisation right there!"
Because you do know that the Yllans have al fresco ablutionary conveniences but consider the ingestion of food shameful and a private event, don't you? Weirdos.
"Yes, and they engage in human sacrifice too, Batman! Look at that bloodstained pyramid!"
"Now, Robin, they may have different customs from ours, but they're still humanoid."
And they've been trying to conquer us for the last thirty years?
"Not listening. La la la la la, lazy xenophobic ignorant generalisations, la la la la!!!"
We have so had this! We're teleporting you back to Earth and good riddance.
"But Batman! We must save the Yllans from these ugly predatory aliens!"
Says the annoying twerp sidekick in the badly colour co-ordinated outfit...
"One more thing...there's another alien stalking me in the Batcave."
That's not us, it's a Pastramonian. They always were turkey hawks. Don't obsess about it, they're mortally afraid of beards.
"Gasp, Batman! We're back in the Batcave! Did that whole episode on an advanced alien world actually ever happen?"
"Sadly, yes, old chum. And it resulted in our particular alternate Earth spinning off into the dreaded Dork Multiverse, so all sorts of incongrous and frankly embarrassing interludes may pop up in the intermediate future. How fortunate the ferryboat got stuck so those vile unsightly aliens couldn't massacre all the women and make away with the men to do their wicked way with them."
"Golly, Batman, what do you mean?"
THE END
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"Holy inflammations, Batman! Look at those ghastly bright orange creatures with fake hair! They're horrible!"
Earth-creatures!!! We are the Gruggs, an advanced alien civilisation who find your little beady eyes, unpleasant pink tinge and fetish outfits equally dodgy!!!
"Shut up, annoying twerp sidekick, or it's Bat-Spanky Spoon time!!! Look, you orange alien fiends, why have you abducted us from our world?"
Because we want cheap labour at ununionised rates, what else?
"But you're an advanced civilisation. Why do you need to place humans in alien bondage?"
You're one to talk, pointy ears. We've seen what you get up to using our transdimensional snoopervisionscope. Kinky much?
"Not in front of my youthful ward, thank you!"
"How come you speak perfect English, though?"
It's a lazy plot loophole, what do you think? Batman is right, you are a annoying twerp sidekick.
"How dare you! Why, I bet you want to enslave those humanoid Yllans over in that conveniently adjacent city!"
Oh, right. Just because we have different physiologies from yours, then logically we must be the villains. Xenophobic little himbo.
"Stop that offensive generalisation right there!"
Because you do know that the Yllans have al fresco ablutionary conveniences but consider the ingestion of food shameful and a private event, don't you? Weirdos.
"Yes, and they engage in human sacrifice too, Batman! Look at that bloodstained pyramid!"
"Now, Robin, they may have different customs from ours, but they're still humanoid."
And they've been trying to conquer us for the last thirty years?
"Not listening. La la la la la, lazy xenophobic ignorant generalisations, la la la la!!!"
We have so had this! We're teleporting you back to Earth and good riddance.
"But Batman! We must save the Yllans from these ugly predatory aliens!"
Says the annoying twerp sidekick in the badly colour co-ordinated outfit...
"One more thing...there's another alien stalking me in the Batcave."
That's not us, it's a Pastramonian. They always were turkey hawks. Don't obsess about it, they're mortally afraid of beards.
"Gasp, Batman! We're back in the Batcave! Did that whole episode on an advanced alien world actually ever happen?"
"Sadly, yes, old chum. And it resulted in our particular alternate Earth spinning off into the dreaded Dork Multiverse, so all sorts of incongrous and frankly embarrassing interludes may pop up in the intermediate future. How fortunate the ferryboat got stuck so those vile unsightly aliens couldn't massacre all the women and make away with the men to do their wicked way with them."
"Golly, Batman, what do you mean?"
THE END