Any re-writers?

[dans]

I'm writing a scene about river rafting. I've never been river rafting, and am struggling to capture the excitement and the danger. Would anyone be interesting in rewriting the basic scene with the goal of making it more exciting - and increasing the sense of danger and potential death and disaster lurking in each instant? Only rewards I can offer - you can write your name into the scene, or I can name a character in the story after you, and certainly add your name as co-author in the Chapter Name ("Part 5 - co-authored with <your name here>". Plus, you can share the post with all your friends! (There is a homo magii in the scene who helps rescue a bunch of drowning students - I made up her name, but it is her first appearance, so she could easily be a he - and share YOUR name! Or you could add another character...)

[DocQuantum]

I’ve gone river rafting. When given the option of going on a raft with no motor or one that was motorized, I chose the one without. It was a lot more exciting. Everyone has a paddle and has to row in concert with everyone else to navigate the rapids.

I haven’t been on a motorized one, but it looked boring to me. The motor did all the work and everyone just sat there.